elleelle86

Since my last entry, I pretty much went right back to smoking regularly. I bought way fewer packs, but I also bummed way more cigs. So here goes take 2.

I’m 5 days in! Woot woot. Not much of an accomplishment, but a good start anyway. Bought a manual car so that will help distract me while driving. Haven’t been out drinking or been around smokers too much yet though…That will be the true test. Wish me luck.

I have better things to spend my dollas on. Cigarettes be damned! -L

A drummer buddy of mine gave me an old kit that he had laying around. We spent the day cleaning the shit out of it and I bought all new drum heads, a couple stands, etc. Sure is pretty now. I even cleaned up my old kit and brought it over to a buddy’s house for jam sessions.

Not even a few weeks after I decided to really get back into drumming, I found out that I have tendinitis. This greatly effects my ability to play. I have pain (mostly on my right side) in my fingers, wrist, forearm, elbow, etc. My fingers were at one point so swollen that I could barely make a fist:( Had to cancel drum lessons and put a lot of things ‘on hold’.

I’m feeling better now though. I’ve been taking it easy for a while now and I feel like I can slllowly start to practice again. With an emphasis on slllowly. Don’t want to end up where I was a few months ago.

Yall keep rockin ya hear?

I’ve been smoking on a fairly regular basis for the last 4-5 years. When I first started, it was the best thing in the world! I had my life together: I was doing well in school, I had an incredible social life, I felt independent and responsible. I would toke at most, a couple times a month. And I would laugh about it for days!:) Not exactly the case anymore…

Within the last two years, I’ve upgraded to everyday/multiple times per day. Wake up-smoke a bowl. Eh, why not right? Gonna hop in the shower-why not smoke a little before? Long drive-going to see a movie-yada yada yada. It’s just too easy. Everything is more fun when you’re high, right?

Well, my memory is shot. I’ve lost focus. Can’t concentrate. I’ve become aloof. I’ve stopped caring. And it’s gotten me nowhere. I don’t remember half of the movies I see when I’m high. I will actually FORGET that I’ve even seen movies and friends have to remind me, ‘Hey, Linds, we saw that on opening night, remember?’ No, actually.

The other night my boyfriend and I were about to head out to see a movie and he realized he’d forgotten his bud at home. THE HORROR!! You mean we might have to see a movie and enjoy each others company dare I say, SOBER?? We ended up going to a later show because he had to go home and grab his weed. Lame.

It’s become so routine. I don’t even enjoy it half the time anymore. I just use it to escape the reality I’ve created for myself. I use weed to put off doing the things I need to do.

It doesn’t help that my current boyfriend and all of his friends are pot-heads. I need to spend less time with them and more time with my non-smoking friends. Actually, I might need to find some non-smoking friends first! haha.

Day #1 Here we go! Good luck to you all!:)