Elusive Sleuth

I’m having a visitor over this weekend :) I love having them over because they are just the motivation I need to get cleaning! Not just tidying but actual deep down cleaning. Rather than moving the junk from one box to another, or from one place to another i’ve been asking “Do I really need this?” and have done some great decluttering work! :)

Several months back I started thinking more seriously about what I really want in a partner. I wrote a list in my journal, and came up with about 8 ideas. I was talking to J, while in Wellington, who had read a theory somewhere, that anything over 6 was too confusing, and that people handled 6 quite well (I think a study has been done on it). So I re-did my list, and have six main things that I look for in someone else. We jokingly started referring to the potential boyfriend as “a six”, hence the goal of finding “a six”.

I haven’t been seriously looking for a six, i’ve really just been meeting people, and getting to know what I like and don’t like so that my “six” list is right for me. I’ve been meaning to post this list for awhile actually. Here is what I look for in someone else:

1. They must have ambition. Some sort of motivation. They have to be going somewhere or doing something. Goals, plans, drive, direction…

2. They have to be active. That’s not to say they have to run marathons or anything like that, it’s just that I have such an active lifestyle, that I don’t see myself with a couch potato.

3. No drugs habit, no excessive drinking habit. I don’t mind a drink, and I don’t mind a great night out, but an excessive drinking habit = uncool. Also in this catergory I include that i’d prefer that they are not covered in tattoos or piercings. One or two is fine by me.

4. I’ve decided that the ideal boyfriend would be between 2 and 8 years older than me. This is based on my personal experiences, having met men who are the same age, men who are a couple of years older, and one nice guy who was 8 years older. After meeting these men from these different age groups, i’ve decided that between 2 and 8 would be right for me.

5. I don’t mind if they are religious, but I won’t be able to stand it if they try and force me into their religion. I respect that people have different beliefs, and I won’t try and change how they see things. I expect the same courtesy.

6. I have to find them attractive of course. This is a difficult, as i’m still getting to know myself, and still getting to know what I look for in another. I know that, for me, being able to tick the above 5 boxes makes them attractive. As well as that I must find them physically attractive. But beyond that, they have to have an attractive mind, they must be interesting to talk to and possess a certain charisma. In short, they must be confident, and sure of them selves, because self confidence is unbelieveably hot. :) (and I can’t see myself being with an insecure guy). They must also be self aware to a certain extent (self delusion is not attractive). For me, being attractive is not just about how someone looks.

After spending months getting to know myself, and getting to know others, and what I look for, I finally have my list sorted. And just as it all pulls together, who do I run into?

A man two years older than me, with motivation, ambition and goals. He surfs and goes diving, he has a tattoo (no piercings), he’s clean, smart, funny and has blue eyes. He has unbelievable music knowledge. He’s confident, he knows himself, he’s atheist and I feel like he understood everything I said. I never thought I would find someone who was the male version of me, but that’s what he seems like. He sees the world as I do, we share common perspectives. He even has the same low blood sugar level that I do, and he needs to eat every four hours or else he gets stomach pain and his body goes into shut down just like mine! (I’ve never met anyone else who has this happen to them). He’s hot. After talking to him for an hour, I felt like our brains were on the same wavelength. I don’t often feel like that with some people. He’s already met my “second parents” (my mentor and her husband, who I often stay with) and they both think he’s lovely. He thinks i’m beautiful. He wants to see me again. Am I sounding ridiculous yet?

I’ve been meaning to post my “six” well before I found one. And part of me has been walking around with blinkers on because i’m off to uni in 4 months. I haven’t been looking for a 6, because i’m about to move. But without even looking I walked into this guy…

I took advantage of the weekend to invest time into a friendship, and attend a 21st birthday party. The party was about 7 hours away though. I wasn’t sure about driving there and back myself for the party, as it seemed a long way, and I was planning to work that weekend. It was a long weekend, so the traffic would’ve been bad, and as well as that there’s the cost of petrol. I ended up getting in touch with the birthday boy, and found out that he had a friend who lives nearby who was going down, and I got a lift with him. I’d known of him before, and added him on facebook a little while ago, but hadn’t met him before this weekend. I was a little uncertain (more than my mum was I think :)), but all of my worries were for nothing! I got along really well with him, and also with several others that I met that night. I’m really grateful that I took the time to stay with B on my road trip (I knew how to get to his place), and to go to his party because he knows some really cool people. They were intelligent, interesting, and motivated. I’ve been hoping to meet people like this for awhile now!

It was quite a whirlwind weekend. It was all decided upon very suddenly (which is not usually how things are for me). I wasn’t sure about going to the party, where I only knew one person, in a city far from home, but I went, felt safe every second and had an awesome time! :) After the party itself we went out dancing, which I haven’t done in awhile. I’ve missed dancing!

The networking that took place that night was really interesting. It just shows what a small world it is. Everyone there knew someone who knew someone who knew me, or knew someone who I knew. :)

But the most important time that I invested into a relationship in the whole weekend would have to be with the guy who gave me a lift there and back. And that has to go into an entry of it’s own… ;)