I feel like such a fuck up. I really can’t handle anything. I’m in my fourth year of college but nowhere near graduating because my transcript is littered with F’s and I haven’t told anyone about it so my parents just think I’m behind because I take less classes because I work full time because I live on my own so they try to help by offering their financial help so that I could work less and focus on school more, but I don’t even want to be in school anymore, I want to give up because I don’t care about school because I have no motivation and I’m wasting my time and money and lying to the people in my life and in the meantime, I spend twelve+ hours a day sleeping and at least one hour crying. It’s my own fault.
eMJerk's Life List
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1. Daily: Reflect on at least 5 things for which I'm grateful (Happiness Manifesto #2)
165 entries . 20 cheers161 people -
2. Have more self discipline
1 entry . 3 cheers74 people -
3. Stop skipping class
9 entries . 37 cheers95 people -
4. Get straight A's for one semester
4 entries . 20 cheers4 people -
5. Join the peace corps
5 entries . 14 cheers2,392 people -
6. Beat my depression
18 entries . 36 cheers1,686 people -
7. Learn to cook. Really cook.
6 entries . 11 cheers1,742 people -
8. Eat more vegan meals
2 entries . 11 cheers2 people -
9. Change my relationship with food
4 entries . 15 cheers2 people -
10. Lose 5 pounds
3 entries . 1 cheer1,155 people -
11. Be comfortable in a bathing suit
1 entry . 17 cheers8 people -
12. Practice Yoga
5 entries . 5 cheers4,105 people -
13. Make a quilt
1 entry . 6 cheers1,091 people -
14. Read every book I own
3 entries . 17 cheers2,122 people -
15. Read a book in one day
2 entries . 9 cheers5 people -
16. Find a pen pal
2 entries . 6 cheers553 people -
17. Learn to read palms
5 cheers423 people -
18. Paint my bicycle
3 entries . 2 cheers1 person -
19. Organize my iTunes
3 cheers226 people -
20. Back up my hard drive
2 cheers79 people -
21. Have an orgasm
4 entries . 14 cheers288 people -
22. Get a full body massage
5 cheers106 people -
23. send a postcard to Post Secret
1 entry . 3 cheers219 people -
24. Learn to knit
2 entries . 1 cheer3,511 people -
25. Night Picnic
6 cheers3 people -
26. Post 43 pictures of where I live and what I do
8 entries . 5 cheers3 people -
27. post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)
18 entries . 1 cheer330 people -
28. backpack through Europe
1 entry . 8 cheers4,969 people -
29. receive 43 postcards from 43 different 43Thingers
5 entries . 1 cheer33 people -
30. Make my own postcards
1 entry . 1 cheer7 people -
31. Be Artsy
4 entries . 2 cheers6 people -
32. Learn how to use my camera
2 entries . 1 cheer38 people -
33. get a picture published by Jones Soda
2 cheers86 people -
34. Find answers to my burning questions
1 entry . 1 cheer1 person -
35. Write every day
1 cheer875 people -
36. Ride my bike every day
3 entries . 1 cheer15 people -
37. Be active on Wordie
1 person -
38. Maintain a clean house and car for one month.
1 entry1 person -
39. Take 43 pictures of little creatures
1 cheer1 person -
40. Garden
2 entries282 people -
41. Start every day with a list
2 entries . 1 cheer1 person
How I did it: I applied initially to the Big Brothers Big Sisters program via the website, then had an interview at my local office. It was about two weeks before I heard back from them, but my references and background check went well, so I was accepted. I was matched with a 'little' in the school-based program, meaning that I only have contact with him on school-grounds at a scheduled time. I was so nervous to meet my little! … Read how I did it…
How I did it: I use milk crates as storage containers for books, since they aren't so large that they become too heavy when full of books, they stack nicely, and they have lovely handles. After eating at my favorite Chinese place downtown, I went for a stroll through an alley behind a bakery. There were four or five empty crates, so I picked one up and casually walked to my car. End of story. Read how I did it…
How I did it: I spent my first two years of college just kind of drifting in the realm of undeclared majors, but I think I knew all along that I'd be majoring in English. I took a few different aptitude and value tests to see what I was most suited for, and - big surprise - my skills, interests, and values were centered around writing. I took my sweet time officially declaring my major, but I did this week, and I could not be happier about it. Read how I did it…
See all "How I Did It" stories...
Looking over my other goals here really makes me realize that pretending to be positive and ambitious is nothing like actually being positive and ambitious. I guess I wasn’t pretending so much as trying. Still.
If this winter turns into last winter I don’t know what I’ll do.
