I'm doing 39 things
A few days after my senior prom last May, I started dating my prom date. He was a junior and one of my best friend’s brothers. It started out fine, and I was super happy. I got my first kiss from him (not the greatest experience…it was the day after we started dating, and it was at school. Very unromantic.), and about a month later I made out for the first time. May sound awkward, but I enjoyed making out. I’m not going to have sex until I’m married, so that was never an issue. However, about a month and a half in we were making out for like, ever. We didn’t have sex, we didn’t even come close to it (or any version of sex), but it was just inappropriate and I didn’t really realize it at the time. I was just too caught up in the moment. The next day we both went to camps for a week. A week later, he broke up with me, mostly because he “can’t see himself ever actually loving me.” Nice. Now, I got over him really quickly. Like, the next day (no joke). I was so happy that I wasn’t with him anymore, and I think that the reason I thought I liked him when we were dating was because he was my first real, “high school,” boyfriend. So that didn’t matter. But I started to really regret that one night a couple of weeks later. It’s really bothered me on and off throughout this year. I go through periods when the me then just disgusts me. I love me now, and at the time I loved me then, but looking back, I can’t stand who I was. Usually I’m okay with it. I mean, I know that God has forgiven me for letting it get slightly out of hand, and I thought I forgave myself, but I don’t think I completely have. Because I still don’t like who I was. I still gag when I think about the fact that I dated him. I regret it. I regret that night. I regret dating him period. I even partially regret prom, which was so much fun. And I can’t stand regret. It is not something that I like to feel. So I just need to get over what happened completely, and forgive myself.
emmalicious's Life List
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1. give something back
20 people -
2. be kissed in the rain.
1 cheer842 people -
3. Watch all of the Dawson's Creek Episodes
1,309 people -
4. fly (like a superhero)
1 person -
5. Send a message in a bottle
4,127 people -
6. have a house with a room dedicated to Elvis Presley
1 person -
7. learn to play the piano
8,242 people -
8. save myself for marriage
63 people -
9. meet Zac Hanson
1 person -
10. take more risks
1,075 people -
11. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination
21,233 people -
12. Be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and to have the wisdom to know the difference...
500 people -
13. save someone's life
1,105 people -
14. Send a postcard to Postsecret
3,024 people -
15. eat an entire bag of oreos...and not feel guilty!
1 person -
16. be in a movie
1,671 people -
17. own a pair of pumps...and wear them!
1 person -
18. do a real cartwheel
2 people -
19. visit Seattle
255 people -
20. be bold
96 people -
21. go parasailing
820 people -
22. go to every Disney park
1 person -
23. read the entire Bible
2,599 people -
24. fall in love
27,010 people -
25. have 4-6 kids
2 people -
26. get married!
20,983 people -
27. dance in a thunderstorm
8 people -
28. stop biting my nails
7,333 people -
29. meet Josh Groban
60 people -
30. be the best pediatric nurse EVER
1 person -
31. Michael Buble
1 person -
32. read through the Harry Potter series every year
1 cheer1 person -
33. travel the world
1 cheer20,753 people -
34. always live for Christ!
1 person -
35. lead someone to the Lord
6 people -
36. apply to be on "The Real World"
1 person -
37. meet Oprah
272 people -
38. sing the ABC's backwards
3 people -
39. lose the weight!!
46 people
