A few days after my senior prom last May, I started dating my prom date. He was a junior and one of my best friend’s brothers. It started out fine, and I was super happy. I got my first kiss from him (not the greatest experience…it was the day after we started dating, and it was at school. Very unromantic.), and about a month later I made out for the first time. May sound awkward, but I enjoyed making out. I’m not going to have sex until I’m married, so that was never an issue. However, about a month and a half in we were making out for like, ever. We didn’t have sex, we didn’t even come close to it (or any version of sex), but it was just inappropriate and I didn’t really realize it at the time. I was just too caught up in the moment. The next day we both went to camps for a week. A week later, he broke up with me, mostly because he “can’t see himself ever actually loving me.” Nice. Now, I got over him really quickly. Like, the next day (no joke). I was so happy that I wasn’t with him anymore, and I think that the reason I thought I liked him when we were dating was because he was my first real, “high school,” boyfriend. So that didn’t matter. But I started to really regret that one night a couple of weeks later. It’s really bothered me on and off throughout this year. I go through periods when the me then just disgusts me. I love me now, and at the time I loved me then, but looking back, I can’t stand who I was. Usually I’m okay with it. I mean, I know that God has forgiven me for letting it get slightly out of hand, and I thought I forgave myself, but I don’t think I completely have. Because I still don’t like who I was. I still gag when I think about the fact that I dated him. I regret it. I regret that night. I regret dating him period. I even partially regret prom, which was so much fun. And I can’t stand regret. It is not something that I like to feel. So I just need to get over what happened completely, and forgive myself.
emmalicious's Life List
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1. give something back
15 people -
2. be kissed in the rain.
1 cheer811 people -
3. Watch all of the Dawson's Creek Episodes
1,256 people -
4. Send a postcard to Postsecret
2,841 people -
5. save someone's life
986 people -
6. Be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and to have the wisdom to know the difference...
476 people -
7. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination
18,540 people -
8. fly (like a superhero)
1 person -
9. Send a message in a bottle
3,636 people -
10. have a house with a room dedicated to Elvis Presley
1 person -
11. eat an entire bag of oreos...and not feel guilty!
1 person -
12. be in a movie
1,519 people -
13. own a pair of pumps...and wear them!
1 person -
14. do a real cartwheel
1 person -
15. visit Seattle
240 people -
16. lose the weight!!
36 people -
17. read through the Harry Potter series every year
2 cheers1 person -
18. travel the world
1 cheer18,502 people -
19. dance in a thunderstorm
9 people -
20. learn to play the piano
7,410 people -
21. save myself for marriage
58 people -
22. read the entire Bible
2,457 people -
23. fall in love
24,425 people -
24. have 4-6 kids
2 people -
25. get married!
18,544 people -
26. stop biting my nails
7,036 people -
27. meet Josh Groban
55 people -
28. be the best pediatric nurse EVER
1 person -
29. Michael Buble
1 person -
30. always live for Christ!
1 person -
31. lead someone to the Lord
6 people -
32. meet Oprah
249 people -
33. sing the ABC's backwards
2 people -
34. go to every Disney park
2 people -
35. go parasailing
719 people -
36. be bold
91 people -
37. take more risks
1,019 people -
38. meet Zac Hanson
1 person -
39. apply to be on "The Real World"
1 person
Recent entries
Untitled
2 years ago
Untitled
2 years ago
I was in several in High School. Even though they weren’t professional productions, it was such an amazing experience! I was a chorus member in “Once Upon a Mattress,” a small part in “Oklahoma!” and Mrs. Potts in “Beauty and the Beast.” So much fun!!
