emmy20

It becomes a little easier every day. It’s not completely noticeable sometimes.. because the first week is the worst. It never gets worse than the first week. You take a shower and think, “last time I was here, we were still dating. Now everything has changed.” Or “the last time I went to this class, I was texting him.” From songs that play on your ipod, to outfits you wear, to advertisements you see, to places you go—everything is a reminder of him. What used to be an easy task, such as writing in your planner, suddenly claws at your heart when you see his name doodled all over it.

Little by little, you have to paint over the parts of your life that he infiltrated.

Delete his playlist. Throw away that perfume he liked. Buy a new planner. The second week, instead of missing him like you did the first week, you can realize that at that time a week ago, you were sobbing on your bed. And this week you haven’t even cried once. That’s improvement. You’re already so much better.

Write a list of everything he’ll miss about you.
Write another list of everything you won’t miss about him.

Get out of your room.
Surround yourself with friends.

And pray.

1. we laugh indoors, death cab for cutie
2. neighborhood 1, arcade fire
3. echoes, pink floyd
4. sore thumb, the format
5. moonage daydream, david bowie
6. i’m a cuckoo, belle and sebastian
7. bowl of oranges, bright eyes
8. ok i believe you but my tommy gun don’t, brand new
9. warning sign, coldplay
10. sing again, chris walla
11. 7/4 shoreline, broken social scene
12. rootless tree, damien rice (highly recommended. pretty song/ makes you feel better.)
13. passenger seat, death cab for cutie
14. body in a box, city and colour
15. your song, elton john
16. american girl, tom petty
17. the bleeding heart show, the new pornographers
18. bitches in tokyo, stars
19. one more night, stars
20. a perfect sonnet, bright eyes
21. just like heaven, the cure
22. the story in your eyes, moody blues
23. boys of summer, don henley
24. the underdog, spoon
25. soul meets body, death cab for cutie
26. i can barely breathe, manchester orchestra
27. fired, ben folds
28. through with you, maroon 5
29. wish i could forget you, silverstein
30. the first five times, stars
31. the new year, death cab for cutie
32. all hail the heartbreaker, the spill canvas
33. marching bands of manhattan, vitamin string quartet cover of death cab
34. reunion, stars
35. chicago, sufjan stevens
36. sing me spanish techno, the new pornographers
37. lonely no more, rob thomas
38. four winds, bright eyes
39. oh! you pretty things, david bowie
40. prelude for time feelers, eluvium
41. brand new colony, the postal service
42. great romances of the 20th century, taking back sunday
43. why you’d want to live here, death cab for cutie

Restless.