endlessroad

I’m going to work on this. I’m pretty self conscious, because growing up I was fat and my sking got horrible. Now I’m pretty fit and my skin has cleared up, I know I’m attractive it’s just sometimes when I look at a picture all I can see are flaws. So I try to stay away from pictures. I think if I quit analyzing my pictures and just accept them, than it would probably help with my confidence. So from here on out I’m going to try to take more pics.

I want to travel the world doing my job. Well I feel bad because the job I want clashes with the enviro. So really I’m chasing the money, but I do care about what I’m doing. A little torn I guess. So should I choose another profession? No what I am going to do is go ahead with my decision and monitor the field in doing so.

I grew up very sheltered, my family was always moving around and I didn’t actually go to school with kids my own age until I was 13. So I didn’t know how to interact socially, academically I was fine. In highschool I started playing sports and that opened the door to new friends and the whole socializing with peers. I finally had more confidence. But know I’m 23, and I sometimes revert back to how I use to be. I don’t like to go places where I know a lot of people will be. I use to feel comfortable doing all that, but that was when I use to drink. Drinking made me unwind and let my guard down. Once I started drinking I would talk to anyone and always find something to say. Sometimes when I’m sober, people I met while drunk would come up to me and be like “hey whats up?” And I’ll just smile to be polite but in the back of my head I’m like who are you? I’m like Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to being social. And I won’t open up unless I feel completely comfortable around you. But I’m working on this eventually I hope to not be afraid of talking to complete strangers.