enigmatictruth




I'm doing 27 things
  
Recent entries
write a book
note taking 2 months ago

I had a small notepad with me and I would write interesting things in it that intrigued me, whether it was an idea or just observations that I notice around me.

I need to incorporate that again in my life and go from there.

Sep 01, 08:26PM PDT | 0 comments


speak and be around attractive woman comfortably and confidently
self-confidence and self-defining 2 months ago

I can’t make eye contact. There are some amazingly attractive woman who I just totally ignore. Like I get this great feeling of attraction from them, and I KNOW they feel it too, but I decide to avoid contact like the plague. Inherently it feels like I need to DEFINE myself fully (eg. KNOWing what I like and dislike, be confident in myself and my ability, develop a good character and lifestyle) before I take part in that new chapter of my life. Like I can only speak a few words to them sort of in a monotone way. I seriously don’t know how to act and just leave the scene because of discomfort.

sigh I feel like sometimes I “let love pass me by” and go into a depressed state.

Sep 01, 08:09PM PDT | 0 comments


stop looking at porn
I've reached this goal...But 2 months ago

I keep going back to it…

first my belief system:

I have a conservative Christian background but I don’t call myself a Christian. My belief in GOD is really not set in stone. I have speculated other religions…there are just too many religions claiming to be the TRUE religion…**ck that.

Anyway, I’ve gotten that desire from my Christian background. Listening to the preaching and teaching I do see a valid point these preachers make. It’s pretty much just wishful thinking and lust of the eyes and flesh. I sincerely need to get laid instead of look at porn.

I guess a more realistic goal for me now would be to keep my viewing of porn limited to x amount of times in a day/week and go from there.

Sometimes I feel it has become an addiction. I need to replace that energy on something more productive.

Sep 01, 07:37PM PDT | 0 comments


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I want to:

The world wants to...

eat more organic food finish Suikoden 5 Start my own business laugh every day take a photography class get a tattoo [or] tattoo's Live in another country stop reading into things pay off my mortgage olivepeople wants to get a six pack Be early buy a house in southern france pet a penguin learn scuba diving house swap it Can be Done wants to get a better job visit all 50 states take a boxing class remember birthdays eat more fruits and veggies Find a job I'll love swim faster Be with my man Improve my posture shave my head Not care what other people think Sandra wants to Get on the Biggest Looser Australia! exercise 4x a week
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