Erin Tran

I’m finding it hard to make friends. I moved to San Jose a year ago to get married. I’m working on my dissertation, which doesn’t give me a lot of opportunities to get out and meet people. My husband’s friends are all busy with babies and extended families, and I don’t feel like I really fit in with them anyway. I met a guy online a few weeks ago who claimed he wanted to be friends-we met for coffee and then he announced he was attracted to me. I’m very happily married-but I’d definitely like some smart, interesting people to hang out with. Any one have any suggestions for how to meet people? I’d love to have some friends I can hang out with alone, as well as some couples my hubby and I could hang out with together.

My husband is Vietnamese, and I’m trying to learn the language so I can communicate better with his family. I’m basically trying to teach myself, but it helps that I can go to my husband and sister-in-law when I need help.

I’ve checked out a lot of books from the library, as well as various tape/CD sets and the starter set for Rosetta Stone, but nothing has been as useful to me as the Pimsleur program. My library only had the basic Pimsleur (10 lessons), but a few days ago I broke down and bought the full series (30 lessons). I’m just waiting for them to arrive in the mail. The place I bought the cds from offers $120 cash if you return the series within a year, so I’m planning to make copies for my personal use and then return it.

The site offered me free software called “Before You Know It” that gives you flashcard sets for a number of languages. I’m finding it pretty useful as a refresher course. The flashcards run both ways (eng-viet, viet-eng) and higher versions of each lesson make you type in the answers (in english first, and then in vietnamese using a special keyboard). It’s a good way to make sure you’re learning the various accent marks, which I’ve been really struggling with.

Gonzo is driving my husband crazy, and we’re running out of ideas. It seems like every day we uncover new things he’s chewed to shreds, including: baskets, areas of our carpet, telephone cords, laptop power cords, the cord on our paper shredder, etc. The most dramatic moment occurred a few days ago, when Sondi discovered that Gonzo had snacked on his cellphone charger, chewing it into about 20 pieces, some of them less than an inch long.

So here’s a status report:

1. rabaldar/cord wrap—seems to work, but areas of cord remain exposed/vulnerable. It’s also hard to cover all the cords, all the time, especially for things that move around (vacuum cleaner, phone chargers, laptop cords, etc.)

2. tabasco—complete failure.

3. bitter yuck no chew spray—no impact on Gonzo, he chews right through it

Our latest strategy—buying him lots of things he’s allowed to chew on: twiggs (colored rabbit treats), wooden toys, carpet scraps, grass mats, etc. Everytime we catch him chewing something he shouldn’t be chewing, we try to redirect him to an alternative.

We weren’t having this problem with him a month ago—does anyone know if this is just a phase? We’re really hoping he’ll stop on his own in a few days/weeks/months.