erinlovesbrett

my boyfriend is getting me a ring for v-day.. i have rings that my dad’s gotten me + other boyfriends as well that i never wear but i want to wear this one i can’t wait to wear this one.. so when i went to the store to be sized my fingers arent even that chewed up but i still feel so self conscious about my hands. i’m actually a bit surprised that my self esteem problems extend to my hands.

obviously.
love means everything.
even the worst times with my brett are infinitely better than the times before i was with him.

i grew up in a presbyterian church that my grandfather had been raised in and my father had been raised in and so i of course thought i would be a part of that church all of my life- to be married in that church and have my kids baptized and to be with all of the people that i had known all of my life. but we got a new minister and he was one of “those” ministers, and besides being a pervert, he was an awful preacher, often giving sermons that he had found on the internet. my parents and i stopped going when i was 16 (i didnt tell them about the minister’s perversions until we had left, and still havent shared them with any but my parents) and attendance has gone from a modest but loyal 100 to 25-30 parishoners. unfortunately, my grandparents still attend and provide all of the financial support needed for the church to continue operating. anyway what all this leads to is: i have been without a church for 8 years now. i have gone to meetings of jehovah’s witnesses off and on which i find interesting and informative but the few points where i disagree with their doctrines make it impossible for me to become baptized by them. i cant find a church that comes close to the things i believe and actually follows the bible instead of having a man stand and interpret God’s word however he wants and spew it out and have a mass of people take it as truth. im just lost.