etherealillusion

needs to stop being so friggin' lazy.



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lose weight (read all 11 entries…)
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Current weight: 63.6kg
Goal weight: 60kg by 1st Jan



get better grades
Where is my wakeup call?

I did splendidly for my O’levels and gained entry into one of the best junior colleges in my country. But things started to go downhill from there. Firstly, the cirriculum was much more rigorous than I had expected and I had to put in a lot of time effort just to keep up, which I wasn’t prepared to give. Secondly, I felt thoroughly demoralised because I was so mediocre in school and everyone around me was so competitive, I just felt so out of it. Thirdly, I hated the school’s culture and till today, I still find that I cannot integrate with my peers. All these factors culminated into appalling block test grades: CCCSU

I know I can do so much better, if only I can somehow cast aside all the external factors e.g. dislike of school. It’s not easy for me because I’m not as adaptable as everyone else. I really think it’s hindering my progress because everytime I think of school I’m just so unmotivated and mentally screaming that I don’t want to go back there. I have considered transferring to another school, but I’m afraid of all the stigma I will face, plus I would be giving up a really good education that this school can provide me with. I really need a wakeup call, something to convince myself to work harder for the final aim: good A’level results.

Hopefully, I will work much, much harder for my promotional exams in 2-3 months time.



Grow my hair out (read all 6 entries…)
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I’ve been making good progress! Haven’t cut my hair for 4-5 months and it’s past the shoulders now. I won’t say it’s long, but it’s definitely the longest it’s been in a long while, since I have the tendency to cut my hair on impulse very often =X

About a month ago and a half ago I experienced quite a traumatic incident and started dropping chunks of hair after that. I’ve been using a shampoo that prevents hair loss and and it’s a lot better now. I suppose it did halt the process of hair growth for a while, but I hope everything is back on track again.

Also, I’ve recently had the impulse to cut my hair again, to about shoulder length. My mum was also encouraging me to do so because she said it would help reduce hair loss. I was going to do it over the long weekend that I had, but I’m really glad that I never found enough impetus to go ahead with it, so my hair length stays :)

Will wait for it to grow past the armpits before I even consider giving it a trim!!



Grow my hair out (read all 6 entries…)
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My hair is about shoulder length now! I haven’t cut it in close to 4 months. Some of my fringe is able to go around my ears now, although I must say it’s growing at a remarkably slow rate since I haven’t cut my fringe since about Feb. Ideally, I want chin length fringe, but that’s going to take a long long time I know XD



Grow my hair out (read all 6 entries…)
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I finally got a haircut that I’m satisfied with. Granted, my hair’s now shorter than it used to be, but at least I can look into the mirror without cringing and having this huge urge to visit the hairdresser.

So my hair’s about chin level now. Waiting for it to grow past the shoulder.



lose weight (read all 11 entries…)
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I finally got my weighing machine back.
I’m up to 61kg again…

It’s quite baffling because I had been eating per normal. Yet I managed to gain back the 3kg I had lost just weeks ago.

What went wrong?



lose weight (read all 11 entries…)
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I’ve been feeling quite out of it lately…

Firstly, my weighing machine has broken down and has been sent for repair but I was told I won’t get it back till 2 weeks later. So during this period I won’t get to monitor my weight which could be quite risky as I could gain a whole lot of weight without realising it.

Secondly, I really haven’t had much time for exercise. I’m a student, and school commitments take up a lot of my day. As a bowler, I used to train 3 times a week, but now trainings have been scrapped to give us more time to study for the upcoming exams. So basically I haven’t been getting active much.

My physical fitness test is in a week! I feel so out of shape and I can sense that my fitness level is dipping…

I should really try to make time for exercising starting from tomorrow, even if it is just for one hour.



Make new friends
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I hate myself for always being so scared to take the first step.

That’s the only thing that’s holding me back from making new friends.

I am pretty happy with the friends I have now, although it would be nice to broaden my horizon and perspectives through meeting a few new people.

Tonight, I am going to take the first step.



Grow my hair out (read all 6 entries…)
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About half a year ago, I rebonded my hair.

Then all my curly hair started growing out until eventually I had a head full of half rebonded, half curly hair, which looked really odd.

So I had the rebonded part cut off and now I have short hair and bangs…which don’t look as good on me as long hair does.

Which is why I’ve decided I’m going to grow my hair and fringe out!! I’ve read that hair only grows like 1cm per month??? That’s so slow…I’ll really need the patience



get an A in Chinese (read all 2 entries…)
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Yes!!!

I got an A1 for Chinese O’levels :)

I was pretty unsure that I would get it because I didn’t exactly study for the exam, so I was really really shocked and happy at the same time when I received my results.

Well, it’s been a huge morale booster and so I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get a distinction for Higher Chinese too. Then I’ll be able to mark this goal as completed!



lose weight (read all 11 entries…)
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I’m up to 61kg now. Damn.



Get more sleep (read all 2 entries…)
Facts?

Did you know that:

Our immune system functions optimally if we go to sleep by 10 p.m. As we sleep, physical repair takes place between approximately 10 p.m. and 2 a.m.: Our immune cells patrol our bodies, eliminating cancer cells, bacteria, viruses, and other harmful agents. Then from about 2 a.m. to 6 a.m., we enter a stage of psychic regeneration. During this time, the brain releases chemicals that enhance our immune system.

Okay I quoted that off a website. I heard so from my bio teacher today and wondered if it was really true so I did some research…well apparently so. Oh dear, I sleep around 2 almost everyday so… :S



update my wardrobe
Good luck to me

This is something I’m going to put off for the time being because I just put on weight and so I refuse to shop for anymore new clothes because that would only be telling myself that it’s perfectly okay that I put on weight! So I’m not going to buy anymore new clothes until I’ve gotten back to at least my original weight. I’m going to use this as a motivation to help me shed those kilos!



Learn to cook
On my way to becoming a little chef!

I’m only fifteen yes but I’d love to learn how to make my own dinners! No one in my family cooks, other than my grandma who only drops by once every few months and stays for a few weeks so all I ever eat is takeout which is really really unhealthy!! I think this somehow links back to me having weight problems…sigh. Anyway for the past two years I had home ec in school and we learnt how to cook some basic food! That was really awesome! Still I don’t consider this goal done because that was just a one off thing. I’ll only mark this goal as complete if I manage to cook consistently without having to use a cookbook! (eh long way to go but it’s a start here!) I mean I really don’t mind cleaning pots and pans and things like that because everytime I cook something I feel so satisfied and pleased with myself I tell myself all the hard work was worth it! Now I just have to find that cookbook that’s lying around somewhere…(oh of course the next thing would be fighting the procrastination and buying the necessary ingredients…my fridge’s full of junk!)



lose weight (read all 11 entries…)
completely off track...

The thing about me is that when I lose weight I get complacent. Then I revert back to my old eating habits and of course…the weight kicks in again. After I lost weight, I started telling myself it was okay to allow for a little weight gain and that was always my excuse whenever I ate something sinful. This time, it’s really gone out of control. I’m gaining weight like nobody’s business! During the past week or so my class had this mass baking almost every other day because we had to raise funds for the school and while helping out I couldn’t help but pinch all the fattening goodies…you should see the ingredients that went in! Within a week I gained like 2kg! I am so horrified! It took me that long to lose all the weight and to think I’ve gained in back in just one week!

I keep telling myself the problem does not exist, that I still look fine and dandy but it’s not true at all! I feel so upset now…I wonder where I’m gonna get all the motivation from



Get more sleep (read all 2 entries…)
Who knew being a student was this hard

Well I get five hours of sleep a day if I’m lucky. On days like these…I only get two hours because I still have a lot of homework to do.



lose weight (read all 11 entries…)
the only bad thing about birthdays is...

CAKE.

I haven’t been on for awhile…and believe me during this period of time I just completely lost the habit of eating healthy and maintaining weight.

Just recently, I had multiple birthday celebrations with friends and family…all who have been very thoughtful and nice to bake/buy me wonderful cakes. But the problem is, because the cakes are specially for me, I have to eat them! Plus they always insist I take the biggest slice.

I’ve been eating like a cow and even though I haven’t really been keeping track of my weight, I know I’m putting on tons of weight.

NOT GOOD!!!!

So I’ve decided that today is going to be the last day I binge and stuff myself crazy. I’m going to revert back to my much healthier eating habits in the past.

Oh no, my friend is talking of having another celebration for me tomorrow. That would mean…another cake?! NOOOOOOO~



lose weight (read all 11 entries…)
Yay progress!

I woke up this morning and as part of my morning routine, I stepped onto the weighing scale and I was really shocked to see that I had lost 2kg!!! Within less than a week at that. Is that even possible?

Anyway, I think I only lost 1kg because yeah, everyone tends to be lighter in the morning when they haven’t eaten anything. But still, I’m so proud of myself for this mini achievement. I only ate dinner yesterday, obviously not because I was trying to starve myself but because I didn’t have time for the other meals. And I went bowling too. I got really hungry midnight, and was really tempted to get my mum to cook me instant noodles but thank God I resisted temptation and decided to go to bed instead.

4kg more to my ideal weight!



invent something
budding inventor

So, I’m taking part in this competition with my friend where we’re required to invent something. The submission deadline is 31 Dec this year.

It was really brain-racking coming up with ideas, because firstly, it’s really hard to find something remotely useful that hasn’t been invented already. Secondly, we had to think about feasibility, practicality, budget and things like that. We’ve narrowed down to two ideas already, they’re not completely novel, more like a combination of things. We’re now scouting for materials to construct it…and hopefully the end product will turn out successful because although it’s easy to envision what it’ll turn out to be, constructing it is a completely different thing altogether.

I’m just really hoping that at the very least, we’ll get shortlisted.



lose weight (read all 11 entries…)
an update

Oh sigh. I’m still 120 pounds. Haven’t lost any weight since I last updated. Well, I guess the very least I could be thankful for is that I haven’t put on any weight either despite my frequent binges. I’ve also been eating a lot of chocolate and other junk…so yeah.

My thighs are so horrid!!! I’m so tired of being stagnant at this weight so I’m going to start doing something about it tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll skip 1000 times before I bathe, and eat only fruits for lunch or something. The last time I did this, 3 years ago, consistently for about a month, I shed 3kg. No reason why it shouldn’t work this time. But. It’s going to take a lot of hard work and persistence!

Oh well. Nothing comes easy.



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