fallingwithoutfear

i dont know what to do. i have told people. 4 people know to be exact… you know, i was actaully having a normal life, but it just had to get fucked up. just… i just fucking hate it… i never knew how easy it is to just throw it al up until tonight… i couldnt not do it… it hurt not to… and it felt just so good to get the shit outta my stomach. i dont know what to do… why dont i just live with it. i mean, every now ans then, i guess its not bad to just throw a bit u…right?

i think what i will do is fast for one day, and then that will make my stomach smaller and then i will quite binging… and have a normal life…

if only it were that simple…

its enough… i cant do this. no one is on my freaki side any more.. i have no one.

i jus want to be skinny…