I'm doing 37 things
I envy the nature of a child – carefree. I was once like that but with the world’s drama and criticism I became self-critical. The notion that I have to be very good at something before I do it publicly is stored in my brain. I have a happy childhood but I never could forget the time that people laughed at me because I couldn’t get the right dance steps (I was in Kinder). Okay, it’s not my talent but who gives them the right to make me feel ashamed? Honestly, I practiced the dance and one year later I told my friends “Hey, I know the steps. I was just pretending that I don’t because I really do not want to be part of the program.” Hehe…what a reason… and I was able to formulate one good reason after a year. After being laughed at I promised not to dance anymore unless it is a matter of life and death. So, every time I went to parties I just enjoy talking and eating. I hate the dance floor and I don’t want to dance. If I do dance, I dance inside my room like nobody is watching. But it’s crazy because nobody is really watching. It’s not that someone else has to be an audience but it has to be the feeling that you are happy with what you are doing regardless of what others think of you. It’s proving to the world that you are free and no one takes hold of you. It’s being spirited and spontaneous.
And after more than a decade, I finally have the guts to dance with many people and not caring whether they will laughed at me. It’s like I became a child and I was dancing for the first time. If there is something I am proud of myself now is that I am able to do the things people least expect me to and I am able to do it with my heart jumping.
