Biz




I'm doing 43 things
 

Biz's Life List

  1. 1. make out with poprocks in my mouth
    1 entry . 17 cheers
    25 people
  2. 2. 43Things Secret Santa
    7 team members
    18 people
  3. 3. Learn how to put make-up on like a pro
    1 entry . 14 cheers
    343 people
  4. 4. finish reading all the books I've bought
    5 entries . 10 cheers
    44 people
  5. 5. Read a book every month for a year
    6 entries . 13 cheers
    2 people
  6. 6. Send something to post secret
    1 entry . 4 cheers
    666 people
  7. 7. Trace my family tree
    1 entry . 7 cheers
    2,241 people
  8. 8. lose 10% of my current body weight
    6 cheers
    2 people
  9. 9. walk the beach in winter
    15 cheers
    1 person
  10. 10. write a children's book
    11 cheers
    1,324 people
  11. 11. Learn how to French-inhale cigarettes and blow smoke rings. Even though I don't smoke.
    5 cheers
    223 people
  12. 12. have a bonfire on the beach at night
    11 cheers
    60 people
  13. 13. reflect in a 'one sentence' journal until i've filled one moleskin of each color available (the 2X3 variety)
    7 cheers
    1 person
  14. 14. engage in you-are-there reading
    3 cheers
    1 person
  15. 15. record a book on tape for the blind
    13 cheers
    1 person
  16. 16. commit to a relationship for once
    1 entry . 8 cheers
    1 person
  17. 17. make 160 entries in my journal this year
    3 cheers
    1 person
  18. 18. take 43 self portrait photographs where you cannot see my face
    5 entries . 8 cheers
    87 people
  19. 19. experience a haunting
    9 cheers
    1 person
  20. 20. become a big sister with big brother big sisters
    13 cheers
    1 person
  21. 21. live near an ocean
    12 cheers
    20 people
  22. 22. visit the west coast
    11 cheers
    57 people
  23. 23. visit at least 10 more countries (including russia, greece, south africa, australia, and ireland)
    9 cheers
    1 person
  24. 24. kiss someone after midnight on new years
    14 cheers
    2 people
  25. 25. get my masters
    1 entry . 17 cheers
    632 people
  26. 26. give my number to a stranger
    1 entry . 14 cheers
    2 people
  27. 27. get photographed as a pin up
    40 cheers
    1 person
  28. 28. publish a piece of creative writing
    37 cheers
    3 people
  29. 29. take a road trip without a destination
    18 cheers
    7 people
  30. 30. adopt a dog
    40 cheers
    525 people
  31. 31. swim with the manatees
    20 cheers
    16 people
  32. 32. keep my room clean for a three week period
    11 cheers
    1 person
  33. 33. hug a koala bear
    6 cheers
    6 people
  34. 34. teach a kid to read
    25 cheers
    1 person
  35. 35. take a metal working class to learn to make rings
    5 cheers
    1 person
  36. 36. work with stained glass/glass bead making
    7 cheers
    1 person
  37. 37. see one of my scenes or plays performed
    8 cheers
    1 person
  38. 38. let myself fall in love
    20 cheers
    42 people
  39. 39. get back in the dark room
    9 cheers
    2 people
  40. 40. compile a list of 100 books to read from friends' suggestions and read them
    2 entries . 5 cheers
    1 person
  41. 41. learn russian
    10 cheers
    2,441 people
  42. 42. go to alaska
    14 cheers
    648 people
  43. 43. Sell at least 10 pieces of jewelry
    2 entries . 24 cheers
    1 person

How I did it
How to learn my bra size
It took me
1 day
It made me
surprised at my size


How to delete my myspace account
It took me
1 day
It made me
relieved


How to join bookcrossing.com
It took me
1 day
It made me
excited


See all "How I Did It" stories...

Recent entries
commit to a relationship for once
one reason i can't commit: 13 hours ago

my parents.

everyone probably blames their parents. i never realized before now that my fear of commitment stemmed from parents. this is the first time i pinpointed them as part of the source.

thing is, i feel like they shouldn’t be together, although if they weren’t together, they’d fall apart. they need each other, but the want is not there. and honestly, should they go through divorce proceedings, it would be really hard on me to see to it that they were both stable. it would be a mess to clean up, and i’m not sure i’m strong enough to undertake such a mending task.

i talked to my mom last night and my father was in trouble. again. he forgot that my mom’s best friend’s daughter’s engagement party was last night. he forgot, but on the same night he had a concert for a volunteer choir he’s part of. what did he do? he decided to go perform. my mom said she yelled at him just enough so that he’d know he did something wrong, but not enough that he could excuse her disapproval and frustration for being a “bitch.”

now i’ve only heard one side of the argument. but most of my life, i’ve seen (and inappropriately heard) that one side of the argument. my dad never really defends himself, he’s not around to. my mom can be difficult to live with, i’ll admit. but they both are.

thing is i know why my mom is still with him. she’s choosing financial stability over happiness. although, honestly, i’m not sure she’d be happy alone either. and she does have a fondness towards him, there is most definitely affection their, but it’s not love.

i’ve never been in love, but i sure hope that means when i am, i’m in it for good. that it’s lasting and that love keeps me in a relationship through the rough stuff, not a sense of responsibility, or a need to stay in it.

i realize that i need to change this goal somehow; tweak the semantics. i don’t know how, though. i just know that commitment is not maybe i just need to tack the word “want” to the front.

any suggestions? i know i have at least 8 people subscribed to me. i’d appreciate it if anyone could offer suggests on refining my goal.



Trace my family tree
traces 4 days ago

my grandmother, the matriarch of the family, is getting older. she’s always telling stories about people in my family, many of whom i don’t know. i know a lot more about my dad’s side of the family than i do my mom’s (which is good, because everyone on my dad’s sides have passed), but i should be writing it down, i should have a pen and pad out whenever i’m around her.



Send something to post secret
i have secrets..... 4 days ago

...i’m not sure if they’re any less harmful out in the world.



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