foshizzlepop

Argh!! i have started picking again (badly) after stopping for nearly a year. I am so disapointed with myself and dont know how to make it go away again. I dont know if my skin has got worse since coming off the pill and then i’ve started picking because there are spots to pick at, or whether its because i expected my skin to get worse after coming off the pill so i have made it bad myself?!!
I am trying the things i used to try (getting my family to take the mirror out of the bathroom, cleaning my face when i feel i’m going to pick) but none of it seems to work at all. My will power is completely shite, and i’m just worried that it’ll begin to take over my life again!! hellllllllllllp!!

The last two days ive some how managed to put on 6lb! Its really not good as now i feel like a big flabby thing and want to cover myself up in tent clothes:-( My confidence is completely on the floor,and i dont really know what to do! I havnt even been eating too much..maybe i have just with out realising it?? I want to try and lose about 2 stone in all, but at the moment it seems impossible!

This evening ive really pissed myself off with my picking. I’d been out most of the day,and had a friend over till 6 so i didnt really pick then. Then after he went, everytime i went into the bathroom, or walked past a mirror i completely attacked my face! its like ive hacked it apart, ive got a big open cut on one cheak which was healing nicely untill i picked it,and ive picked the whole of my face when there wasnt many noticeble spots but i just felt that i wanted to get all the bumps and crap out of my skin as it didnt belong there. Now im just sat with a face mask on to cover up all the evidence and so i dont pick when i pass a mirror. I know i’ll keep it on for hours,which im sure isnt good for skin either so will probably end up making it worse :-( Also i havnt been doing my star chart which i want to get back into doing but cant seem too..oh life seems crappy! okay,rant over!