freewind88

Got through it, worked things out early afternoon. Will try not to let anything effect my happiness. I should create my own happiness and he should only be icing on the cake, not the dough itself.

once you find happiness in yourself you realize all the compliments that come your way, you see the positivity that surrounds you, it’s wonderful.

I am feeling so depressed today, all I want is to succesfully get through the day.

So let me explain, this year as a Junior in college has the first time at college i’ve ever truly been happy. I just felt so comfortable, happy, attractive, and motivated. All was good so it was no suprise when I went to a party one night I started talking to a really great looking/hilarious guy who began to take me on dates.

I was so happy already that this just added the icing on the cake and it was so exciting. He’s a great guy, he’s er..”eccentric” for sure, and he was shitty at contacting me.

We began to be boyfriend/girlfriend, in the apartment complex he lives right above me and he though I know means well just puts such little effort into me. I know it’s his style, he’s not really the type of guy to be by his phone a lot, but it’s made me feel bad about myself. It’s made me feel demanding/not worth his attention/that he doesn’t like me.

Last night was the first time on a weekend he didnt call me at all. Why I say I want to get through today okay is that I realized if he doesn’t call by 8pm tonight I am going to break up with him.

I realized that there is more stress in this relationship than happiness, and I know already that is a sign to break up. But MAN its been fun having a boyfried. Its been fun having sex with someone who attractive or going on dates and making him laugh. Its been great watching him play his music and whispering into the night. Of course I like him, I like him a lot, but throughout the course of the relationship Ive honeslty done all I can do, and part of me hopes so bad he calls today, so that’s why I’m saying get through today.

Im making rules for myself

1. I know you are feeling very anxious if he will call /not you obviously like him a lot but put the anxiousness aside and DO YOUR HOMEWORK. There are FOUR WEEKS LEFT of the semester and you need to bring up your grades!!!!

2. If by eight he doesn’t call, call him up and dress beautifully and break up with him nicely. You are a great girl and though you are now programmed to have your happiness involve him you deserve happiness on your own, or a guy that really wants to see you and puts effort. You are not someone to call up at 11pm for fun, but a girl to see and get to know.

3. You deserve better

4. Be nice to him, really nice. I know you’re angry and you like him but be nice.

5. Think positive thoughts. Hopefully he will call, but how much work you do/ how you feel does not have to involve him.

6 I love you, good luck.