Today a pox be putteth upon the House of People Who Are in Denial About How Much Shit They Have (for instance, saying that they have a 10-by-10 storage shed full, when they actually have that [with a 15-foot ceiling and the shit is stacked all the way to the top] plus another half a storage unit plus some stuff in some guy’s basement) And Hire Someone Else (me, for instance) To Rent a Too-Small U-Haul Truck And Try To Fit Said Shit Into Said Truck (I got about 2/3 of it in, maybe) And Drive Said Truck From Denver (where I live) To Kansas City (where she lives) Which Would Not Have Been Quite Such A Horrendous Drive If I Had Been Able To Get Started on Wednesday Night But I Could Not Cuz It Took So Long To Load The Truck The Storage Place Closed Before We Could Finish So We Had to Come Back at 6 a.m. And Finish Loading the Truck And Then I Had To Drive For 13 And A Half Hours All In One Day, Through The Land of No Decent Radio. (I got paid, so it’s OK, but still, people need to not have so much shit, and if they do, they need to understand that they have a lot of shit.)
Also a pox today on radio preachers. Get a life, dudes.
Dec 17, 2005, 11:38AM PST | 4 cheers | 1 comment
A pox on the House of People Who Intentionally Fail To Pronounce the T or D Found in the Middle of Many Words. For instance, they say mow’-in, when they mean mountain; sir’-in when they mean certain; dih’-n when they mean didn’t (a double offense, for they also fail to pronounce the T at the end of “didn’t”). This is criminally lazy, and also commits the offense of thinking they are cool when they are not, by definition.
A pox on the House of Young White Males Who Wear the Cap Turned To the Side and Snow-White Sweatpants and Hoodie, With the Zipper Halfway Down, and White, $200 Sneakers, Untied, Especially When They Live in Denver, Colorado and It’s 28 Degrees Outside. You are not cool, you are not in the Bronx, you are not Eminem, and you are not black. Most of all, you are not original, and there is a special, painful hell for posers. Oh, and we are all laughing at you, perhaps only to gloss over our own feelings of embarrassment on your behalf. Do not come out again.
Dec 11, 2005, 11:45PM PST | 2 cheers | 2 comments
A pox on the following houses:
1. A pox on the House of The Natural Law That Dictates That We Can Have Either Money But No Time Or Time But No Money.
2. A pox on the House of the Person Who Broke Into My Apartment This Year and Stole My Laptop and My Wallet. You suck.
Dec 10, 2005, 12:20AM PST | 1 comment
I'm doing 14 things
