I'm doing 13 things
So unsure of everything. Regarding my last entry about this goal, I know now that I don’t want a career in the postal service. Having this job for the past half a year has made that clear. Right now I am about to get back to school, but I completely unsure of myself. I still want to work at a library, but I just don’t know how to make that happen…
fruitbat's Life List
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1. become more independent
11 entries . 6 cheers329 people -
2. figure out what i want to do with my life
6 entries3,903 people -
3. get through college
82 people -
4. succeed at work
1 entry14 people -
5. manage my money
1 entry94 people -
6. feel beautiful
10 entries . 13 cheers2,217 people -
7. find my place in the world
1 entry . 6 cheers141 people -
8. read more
4 entries8,788 people -
9. speak confidently / express myself better
1 entry . 3 cheers63 people -
10. be the perfect girlfriend
2 entries16 people -
11. craft more
2 entries . 1 cheer92 people -
12. finish knitting my Dr. Who scarf
3 entries . 1 cheer1 person -
13. get off medication
1 entry44 people
How I did it
It made me
Confident 
How I did it: Well, I've always been meek and quiet, and didn't really have much confidence in myself and other people could see that in the way I presented myself. But I am in a much better place now. I have friends who I know will support me, I have a loving boyfriend who is always there for me, I have a good job, I have a goal I'm striving towards, I'm quickly gaining independence. All of these things are giving me a greater sense of confidence in m… Read how I did it…
It made me
Triumphant
How I did it: I had been looking for a job for years, even with the help of the Department of Occupational Rehabilitation Services (DORS). In that time I got a few interviews every now and then, but only one job. It was a seasonal position at Target, and didn't last past January. After that it was back to job hunting again. Eventually I lost faith in DORS and left the program. For a while I did my own thing, keeping an eye out for open positions. It wa… Read how I did it…
It made me
Triumphant 
How I did it: Two weeks ago I was hired by Target at a job fair they held.I've been working with The Department of Rehabilitation Services (DORS) for a few years and a job coach for about a year, who offered me help because of my problems with depression/anxiety that got in my way of finding employment for myself. It was nearly a year since I began seeing the job coach, and DORS wasn't really offering much help anymore, so I was beginning to lose faith… Read how I did it…
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Recent entries
Coming off my depression and anxiety medications has left me very… depressed and anxious. He has been wonderful about it, like he always is. But it has been difficult lately. I get so paranoid that I’m bothering him or putting too much pressure on him to make me feel better. I need to be with him too much to avoid seeing him like I can everyone else in the world, but he’s the person whose opinion matters the most to me. I feel like I constantly need to seek out reassurance that I am wanted but am terrified of being rejected, and end up hypersensitive to everything he says and does. I go through horrible mood swings and can’t get through a day without crying. I know it’s not my fault, but I feel so guilty… I am determined to make this up to him. Right now all I can do is try to explain what I’m going through and tell him how much it means to me that I have him to help me through it. But it doesn’t feel like enough. I want to find some way to show him…
It really kills my confidence to look in the mirror and see how tired and sick and worn out I look, and nothing I do seems to help. I had been doing so well for so long, so I really feel like I’ve taken a step backwards. But I’m just going to have to live with it until I start feeling better again…
