So unsure of everything. Regarding my last entry about this goal, I know now that I don’t want a career in the postal service. Having this job for the past half a year has made that clear. Right now I am about to get back to school, but I completely unsure of myself. I still want to work at a library, but I just don’t know how to make that happen…
fruitbat's Life List
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1. become more independent
11 entries . 6 cheers329 people -
2. figure out what i want to do with my life
6 entries3,903 people -
3. get through college
82 people -
4. succeed at work
1 entry14 people -
5. manage my money
1 entry94 people -
6. feel beautiful
10 entries . 13 cheers2,217 people -
7. find my place in the world
1 entry . 6 cheers141 people -
8. read more
4 entries8,788 people -
9. speak confidently / express myself better
1 entry . 3 cheers63 people -
10. be the perfect girlfriend
2 entries16 people -
11. craft more
2 entries . 1 cheer92 people -
12. finish knitting my Dr. Who scarf
3 entries . 1 cheer1 person -
13. get off medication
1 entry44 people
How I did it: Well, I've always been meek and quiet, and didn't really have much confidence in myself and other people could see that in the way I presented myself. But I am in a much better place now. I have friends who I know will support me, I have a loving boyfriend who is always there for me, I have a good job, I have a goal I'm striving towards, I'm quickly gaining independence. All of these things are giving me a greater sense of confidence in m… Read how I did it…
How I did it: I had been looking for a job for years, even with the help of the Department of Occupational Rehabilitation Services (DORS). In that time I got a few interviews every now and then, but only one job. It was a seasonal position at Target, and didn't last past January. After that it was back to job hunting again. Eventually I lost faith in DORS and left the program. For a while I did my own thing, keeping an eye out for open positions. It wa… Read how I did it…
How I did it: Two weeks ago I was hired by Target at a job fair they held.I've been working with The Department of Rehabilitation Services (DORS) for a few years and a job coach for about a year, who offered me help because of my problems with depression/anxiety that got in my way of finding employment for myself. It was nearly a year since I began seeing the job coach, and DORS wasn't really offering much help anymore, so I was beginning to lose faith… Read how I did it…
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Coming off my depression and anxiety medications has left me very… depressed and anxious. He has been wonderful about it, like he always is. But it has been difficult lately. I get so paranoid that I’m bothering him or putting too much pressure on him to make me feel better. I need to be with him too much to avoid seeing him like I can everyone else in the world, but he’s the person whose opinion matters the most to me. I feel like I constantly need to seek out reassurance that I am wanted but am terrified of being rejected, and end up hypersensitive to everything he says and does. I go through horrible mood swings and can’t get through a day without crying. I know it’s not my fault, but I feel so guilty… I am determined to make this up to him. Right now all I can do is try to explain what I’m going through and tell him how much it means to me that I have him to help me through it. But it doesn’t feel like enough. I want to find some way to show him…
It really kills my confidence to look in the mirror and see how tired and sick and worn out I look, and nothing I do seems to help. I had been doing so well for so long, so I really feel like I’ve taken a step backwards. But I’m just going to have to live with it until I start feeling better again…
