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fuckifi_know

is trying to be mellow but it's not working too well



I'm doing 10 things
  
Recent entries
be open enough with my boyfriend to let him read the journals i have been keeping for five years
I love him too much 3 months ago

I’m scared to let him see what I have written. He knows that i see a psychiatrist and take medication. I just can bring myself to let him see some of the things i have written recently about myself and the way i feel. I don’t want him to worry, but i don’t want to keep anything from him. I love him so much and i just don’t want anything i wrote to hurt him.

But I’m going to do it because he deserves to know everything about me. He’s that open with his life. I should be too?

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leave a note detailing something horrible i have done for someone to find
What if no one reads it?? 3 months ago

I have never done anything “horrible” like assist in a murder. The horrible that I intend to write about is something that makes me ashamed and volunerable. To get this out of my mind, I need someone to know.

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cry
pressure 3 months ago

I feel like all the emotions bottled up inside me are putting too much pressure on all of my body. People view me as a strong individual. I want to make myself understand that tears are not a sign of weakness. I have much and many to cry for. Things that deserve tears.

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I want to:

The world wants to...

Go to Yale figure out what i want to do with my life watch Grey's Anatomy enjoy the moment play guitar go to sweden meditate regularly Sing in front of a crowd become a diplomat letterboxer wants to organize my photos watch family guy online go to amanpulo get married watch House MD not worry about money go to Hawaii Ailbhe Leamy wants to help new mothers develop strong breastfeeding relationships with their babies pyrokinesis Become a successful songwriter learn to quilt learn italian improve my drawing skills eat healthier learn piano start a band take a trip to Egypt be more attractive