This has been a long slow process. I first started working on the ways I was used to habitually thinking and viewing the world. For the first time in several years, I am finding ways to enjoy small things. Practicing mindfulness, challenging some of my long held viewpoints and negativity has helped a great deal. Another thing that has been helpful has been working on mindfulness. This has helped me to stop trying to live for the future and constantly re-hashing the past. Focusing on asking myself what I really enjoy and want to be doing, then working towards incorporating these things into my life has been a challenge that is finally paying off. I am headed for my first vacation in I don’t even know how many years in two weeks. I am really excited, but nervous. Change, even positive change can be scary! A big part of this whole process has been practicing self-care. This can be as small as saying no to a social commitment I really do not want to participate in, to as large as making plans to spend the holiday doing what I want to do, not what my family or friends expect me to do. This is one of the most worthwhile things I have ever done, but also truly one of the most difficult because it has involved such a major overhaul of so many aspects of the way I was used to living my life.
funkiemunkee's Life List
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1. devise a radical self-improvement plan
43 people -
2. graduate from college
5,883 people -
3. get married
17,896 people -
4. figure out what i want to do with my life
3,293 people -
5. Learn to say no
1,039 people -
6. be happy with myself
1,323 people -
7. Practice Yoga
3,976 people -
8. meditate daily
3,896 people -
9. have better posture
7,443 people -
10. stop procrastinating
26,261 people -
11. exercise regularly
10,193 people -
12. practice mindfulness
87 people -
13. learn self-discipline
120 people -
14. Allow myself to only be treated well by the people I choose to have friendships and relationships with. If they do not, I need to find the courage to move on without them.
265 people -
15. invest
794 people -
16. be more reliable
66 people -
17. develop healthy and meaningful relationships
1 person -
18. go back to school
2,370 people -
19. learn about buddhism
396 people -
20. find inner peace
721 people -
21. Read more
7,471 people -
22. watch less television
343 people -
23. Keep a journal
2,870 people -
24. work the 12 steps
8 people -
25. Finish what I start
3,727 people -
26. Stop caring what other people think of me
3,888 people -
27. Beat my depression
1,648 people -
28. eat healthy
2,883 people -
29. self care
4 people -
30. fix up my house
116 people -
31. clean up my house and keep it clean
489 people -
32. be more social
4,855 people -
33. conquer fear
47 people -
34. Write a will
763 people -
35. Find my personal style
60 people -
36. be more creative
1,615 people -
37. feel my feelings and not flee my feelings
1 cheer4 people -
38. stay sober
1 entry . 1 cheer397 people -
39. enjoy life
1 entry . 2 cheers1,070 people -
40. say what i mean and mean what i say
1 cheer226 people -
41. Quit Smoking
1 cheer8,174 people -
42. make real friends that share my interests
1 cheer271 people -
43. feel beautiful
2,045 people
I made it to one year, which I celebrated Sunday, December 2nd. It is a very scary time because as well as I have been doing, one day at at time, two friends who came into the program a couple months before i did have both relapsed. The anniversary also reminds me of where i was a year ago, a really terrible place!!! The scary part is that i feel I have so much more to loose if I should find myself in a relapse. A few days is not as hard to accumulate as a whole year. I guess it is time I just keep focusing on making it through each 24 hours. I cut down, then finally quit smoking (again) on November 18th. The cravings have been hideous. I will be focusing on each 24 hours and then will be thinking about recommitting to watching my diet and eating healthier. So many things I want to work on, but the progress is slow. I am learning to work on smaller, more achievable goals, which is so counter intuitive to my “all or nothing” personality, lol.
