This has been a long slow process. I first started working on the ways I was used to habitually thinking and viewing the world. For the first time in several years, I am finding ways to enjoy small things. Practicing mindfulness, challenging some of my long held viewpoints and negativity has helped a great deal. Another thing that has been helpful has been working on mindfulness. This has helped me to stop trying to live for the future and constantly re-hashing the past. Focusing on asking myself what I really enjoy and want to be doing, then working towards incorporating these things into my life has been a challenge that is finally paying off. I am headed for my first vacation in I don’t even know how many years in two weeks. I am really excited, but nervous. Change, even positive change can be scary! A big part of this whole process has been practicing self-care. This can be as small as saying no to a social commitment I really do not want to participate in, to as large as making plans to spend the holiday doing what I want to do, not what my family or friends expect me to do. This is one of the most worthwhile things I have ever done, but also truly one of the most difficult because it has involved such a major overhaul of so many aspects of the way I was used to living my life.
funkiemunkee's Life List
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1. work the 12 steps
9 people -
2. conquer fear
52 people -
3. be more social
5,417 people -
4. clean up my house and keep it clean
519 people -
5. fix up my house
124 people -
6. self care
6 people -
7. eat healthy
3,483 people -
8. Beat my depression
1,945 people -
9. Stop caring what other people think of me
4,569 people -
10. Write a will
787 people -
11. Find my personal style
78 people -
12. be more creative
1,744 people -
13. enjoy life
1 entry1,353 people -
14. watch less television
1 cheer342 people -
15. feel beautiful
2,216 people -
16. make real friends that share my interests
1 cheer263 people -
17. Quit Smoking
1 cheer9,261 people -
18. say what i mean and mean what i say
1 cheer236 people -
19. stay sober
1 entry . 1 cheer458 people -
20. feel my feelings and not flee my feelings
1 cheer4 people -
21. Finish what I start
4,070 people -
22. Keep a journal
3,566 people -
23. Read more
8,783 people -
24. have better posture
8,148 people -
25. meditate daily
4,554 people -
26. Practice Yoga
4,283 people -
27. be happy with myself
1,478 people -
28. Learn to say no
1,268 people -
29. figure out what i want to do with my life
3,904 people -
30. get married
20,992 people -
31. graduate from college
6,378 people -
32. stop procrastinating
30,012 people -
33. exercise regularly
10,995 people -
34. practice mindfulness
134 people -
35. find inner peace
805 people -
36. learn about buddhism
394 people -
37. go back to school
2,677 people -
38. develop healthy and meaningful relationships
1 person -
39. be more reliable
74 people -
40. invest
918 people -
41. Allow myself to only be treated well by the people I choose to have friendships and relationships with. If they do not, I need to find the courage to move on without them.
285 people -
42. learn self-discipline
134 people -
43. devise a radical self-improvement plan
39 people
I made it to one year, which I celebrated Sunday, December 2nd. It is a very scary time because as well as I have been doing, one day at at time, two friends who came into the program a couple months before i did have both relapsed. The anniversary also reminds me of where i was a year ago, a really terrible place!!! The scary part is that i feel I have so much more to loose if I should find myself in a relapse. A few days is not as hard to accumulate as a whole year. I guess it is time I just keep focusing on making it through each 24 hours. I cut down, then finally quit smoking (again) on November 18th. The cravings have been hideous. I will be focusing on each 24 hours and then will be thinking about recommitting to watching my diet and eating healthier. So many things I want to work on, but the progress is slow. I am learning to work on smaller, more achievable goals, which is so counter intuitive to my “all or nothing” personality, lol.
