fuzzyduckling

Right now I am moderately obsessed with the idea of getting a big, thick trunked tree tattooed on my right side.

I currently have one of Picasso’s line drawings of a dove tattooed on my left arm. At work a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my coworkers about tattoos they wanted to get, and they asked me if I wanted to get another tattoo. I said I really didn’t…and then I thought to myself (and this is how it always starts!), “if I did get another tattoo…I would get a tree.” The more I thought about it and talked about it, the more I realized how much I really do want not just another tattoo, but a tree tattoo on my side.

I need to give myself sometime to think about it…at least 6 months if not a year or two. I need to make sure this is really something I want to have on me for the rest of my life. And I kind of need to save up a bunch of money for getting another tattoo.

I would like to go to Slave to the Needle in Ballard. They are nationally known as a really good tattoo shop, and they are located maybe 10 blocks from my house.

I am very much just in the initial idea phase of getting another tattoo and need some time to let the idea sit and percolate a little before I take any major actions. I might stop by Slave to the Needle soon and start by getting an estimate so I can have a general idea of how much money I would have to have saved before I could get it. But there is a lot of time to do that…

My friend Jessica and I are going to make mochi in 2 days. I’m really excited about it. She made it recently at the Waldorf school she used to work at. We are going to go to Uwajimaya and buy the necessary ingredients and then make it at my house. Yay!

Lately, I have been telling my 2.5 year old nanny boy (with whom I have worked since he was 4 months old) that I love him. Sometimes I say, “Guess what, Jack, I love you.” Sometimes I tell him that I want him to know that I love him. Sometimes I give him a hug/kiss and say I love you. It has been hard to break away from my parents’ way of verbally expressing love and have definitely found myself naturally telling Jack I love him the same way they (perhaps somewhat ineffectively) tried to verbally communicate their love. (And don’t get me wrong, I KNOW that my parents love me…but sometimes it doesn’t necessarily FEEL like it.)

Sometimes Jack just smiles in response when I tell him I love him. Sometimes he says “yeah” in a funny, deep, sage-like wise old way. Sometimes he says “I love you, Ni-Ni.” I also sing a made-up song that goes “Jackson, Jackson, too, I love you,” and “Maddie, Maddie-Roo, I love you,” (to his little sister). Today I asked him if Ni-Ni loves him a lot or a little and he said “a lot.”

That’s my story. I still don’t tell my family I love them, but I am making more of an effort to show them that I do. And at the end of the day, I put more stock in actions than words on their own, but I feel like words + actions together is an amazing, comprehensive way to communicate my love.