Gabriela

This goal sounds pretty reasonable, I think. About 2 pounds a month.
Realistic.

I think I can do it. A little diet along with exercise, walking…maybe a little bit of jogging.

I put on 10 pounds since I came to the United States. Not because I eat more or poorly… mostly because I just don’t exercise.

I used to comfortably walk two hours a day, every single day. One hour in the morning, on my way to work, and another one on my way home. Summer AND freezing winter. Everybody knows that Romanian winters can be challenging, especially in Brasov, in the mountains, where I lived for about 9 years.

I could have taken the bus, but I preferred to sweat a little and push myself. It wasn’t easy, but I kept going, disciplining myself…Loved that feeling of knowing that I’m doing something good for myself. Not just for my looks, but for my health, for my soul.

My friends used to tease me about walking for a whole hour after work…wondering why I need to walk that much since I was skinny like that. I weighed less than 110 pounds…5 feet 4. Not too bad, huh?
Size 2.

When I first came here and shopped in a clothing store, only kids sizes fit me. Or petites.
I am almost a size 4 now. Pants size. My bust is about the same though. Not a tremendous change in that area, unfortunately.

My husband says that I’m still skinny. But some of my pants beg to differ.

I never felt with people complaining about not getting in their clothes anymore. My clothes were never tight for me…I kinda envied curvy lines…and thought that those girls look ‘rich’, lively, content, nurtured…I had to suck up, eat my veggies and keep walking.

Now I can’t get into some pants, my favorites. That’s a scary feeling. Growing into your clothes…and not having enough air to breath.

Well, I don’t want to get used to this too much.

I’m going back to my size 2, God willing.

These last 2-3 weeks I’ve been going to bed after well after midnight. My husband is a night owl and I hate letting him watch tv by himself.

I faithfully used to go to bed at 10-10:30 before I got married.

I hoped that I’d make my husband go to bed with me before 11…Not only that I couldn’t convince him turn the tv off at 10:30, but I gave up my healthy before mid-night sleep hours in order to spend time with my husband, right? As though staring at that stupid box for 2 hours can be called quality time.

This tells something about my willpower, huh?

Well, some things have to change. Soon.

1. To see my husband’s smile every night when he cames from work and give him a big hug.
2. To see the house clean and my husband enjoying it. (I call him Mr. Clean).
3. To live in a beautiful country, a safe and lovely small town in Northern California.
4. To cook and eat a salad I learned to make in school in 7th grade, ‘Boeuf Salad’, a French salad with lots of veggies and just a bit of mayo.
5. To be healthy and painless, still young and in love with my husband.
6. To have a husband who really loves me and try to make me happy every way he can.
7. To know that I am saved and that God loves me and one day I am going to be with Him in heaven and with people I love.
8. To have a spiritual mentor who cares and makes time for me every week.
9. To learn and be part of a great culture.
10. To be blessed with things I just dreamed about having before.

I did the laundry early in the morning today. 3 loads.
And I used 3 1/2 cups of washing soda for every load to soften the water and give a boost to the regular detergent I use.
I forgot to add vinegar to the last rinse (actually I had to rush to the library to return the DVDs and when I came back the cycle was complete) and the clothes were not as soft as they were last time I did laundry, but they were all clean and smelling beautifully.
I folded the laundry while watching ‘How clean is your house?’ and now I’ll have to put them away. Not ‘forget’ them in the basket for a week.
It was good to do this early in the morning and have it out of the way.

After that I cooked a BIG bowl of French salad (“Boeuf Salad’) and I’ll enjoy it for 2-3 days, I hope. It’s too good to last that long actually.
So, that means I’ll have a good, healthy salad for lunch tomorrow and I won’t need to spend time in the kitchen cooking except for cleaning.
I wish my husband wasn’t this outrageously picky!!!

I still have pea soup leftover I cooked the day before yesterday… which my husband didn’t bother to even taste…so I am good for dinner. I have to cook for him though. A bunch of meatballs I guess. Again. God, I hate them.

I’ll finish the dishes now. O’Reilly is on!! My favorite news guy on Fox.
Yes, I’m a republican. Or I should say a conservative.

I walked to the library and back this morning. That took me about 20 minutes of pretty fast walk because I had to be back to put the laundry in the dryer.
It was nice and still cool outside. I enjoyed it a lot…and I noticed that I didn’t need any coffee or hot cocoa as usual. Just the endorphins from the brief exercise made me feel alert. Great feeling after almost a week of (mild) depression.
It is probably the talk I had with my ‘mentor’ Marie as well, a lady from church who accepted to take me under her wings and be a friend to me and a spiritual counselor. The talk AND the prayer. And knowing that I returned the DVDs just in time and we didn’t have to pay any more dues.
I hope I’ll go out later tonight with my husband.

I noticed a clothing charity booth down my street.
Now I don’t have to beg my husband to take me to Salvation Army anymore.
I already have a pack of clothes I haven’t worn in 2 years…and I’ll make sure I get rid of things I keep around just to fill up my closet.
That is going to be a tough one because some clothes are the only things (along with some books, of course) that I was able to pack when I left Romania 2 years ago and I am attached to them. Well, they’re not quite fashionable anymore and some pants are kinda tight now that I put on 10 pounds…so maybe I’ll find the willpower to say good bye to them and let some poor kids in Africa enjoy them more than my closet does.

Such a release to know that I actually can start de-cluttering my closet.

God bless these charities! :)

Since I moved here in Northern California I wanted to volunteer at the library, but I hesitated because I hadn’t had received my work permit yet.
Now that I’ve received my green card I dared to go to the library and inquire into volunteering…The lady at the desk was so sweet. She seemed glad to give me a phone number of a lady I was supposed to call who was in charge of volunteering team. She said that they’re looking for people who are able to volunteer on a regular basis, not just sporadically. I was so encouraged by that because I was more than available even for 4-5 day a week.
That was Thursday, yesterday. The lady on the phone didn’t sound as excited as I expected…and I was about to tell her that I would start tomorrow (Friday) if she wanted me and would be available even on the week-ends.
She asked me if I wanted my name on the waiting list…a 25 people waiting list. “Yeah, please’, I said, but I was so disappointed I felt my heart fall in my boots.

This was my library experience…I am NOT losing hope yet.
One day I am going to work there God willing…even if that requires years of volunteering.

Can’t give up my childhood dream. No way.

Since I was a kid I dreamed about being a librarian. I always loved being around books.
I started to read way before all my colleagues in first grade…I remember how shocked and pleased my teacher was to listen to me reading when the kids in my class were barely able to identify pictures correctly.
She took my hand and asked me to read in front of my aunt who happened to teach at the same school.
I started to read books I checked out at the school library in the first grade, well advanced for my age. The librarian used to say: ‘Hey, Gaby, you checked out the books just yesterday. Are you back already?!’And then she would ask me questions from the books to make sure I read all of them before allowing me to check out another ones. She told me that I was the most read kid she had had in years.

That happened in Brad, Romania more than 25 years ago.