gallantpresent

Making appointments
Trying to lasso it all into one thing
Moving on from disappointments (job opportunities that even I wasn’t sure were the right fit)
Healing artistically
Trying to make new friends at that Group
Trying not to try so hard
Remembering names
Remembering birthdays
Trying to figure out what to eat
Being thankful for my tax money
Trying to figure out my dentist, who it should be
Prioritizing all this
Missing friends
Missing partner
Am I independent?
Interdependent, for sure, but how?
Next baby step in front of me.

Today is a gray day once again. Soon it will not be. We have to be ready for that?

Do we just suddenly “believe” again only when the sun is out. Or do we not believe - anyway - when the sun is not shining, but simply KNOW that it will shine again—and that there are good things anyway, NOW, to be grateful for. To build from.

The process has always been building. Even if you’re not sure what you’re building.

Don’t forget the world defines what “projects” are. But even when you think you’ve figured out your project, you don’t really know, from the deepest level, what it is, or why it is, or even what part of the bigger project that it is.

Remember, all projects are parts of other projects. And all Discoveries, and Due Diligence are projects in themselves, too.

So just because I feel my whole life right now is Due Diligence, doesn’t mean it really is. Or that I should stop doing that. Due Diligence. I want to do the Due Diligence more diligently!

Lead me to the Diligence that is Due and keep me on that path. Louden that small voice, so I hear the passion and choose the projects/diligences.

Or how about, since I really don’t know where all the help is coming from, but am affirming it anyway, even though the sun has not come out yet, I agree that the choice voice is heard, now!

I don’t care where the voice comes from. Louden the voice.

Show me who I am. I don’t care who I’m talking to. Show me, tell me, lead me.

I’m taking meetings.

Can you believe it? I’m making it up. I continue to have to take myself seriously, to speak up, to let morph, to get going on, to get up on its feet, projects, passionate projects.

I’m an animal. I will use whatever is in front of me. I am fierce (thank you Project Runway).

People are actually doing things in New York. I love it.

How to keep up? Dunno. Just do your thang, right.

I’m reading Chapitre Trois of the Artist’s Way. I miss French. I miss travelling. I want to travel to different places in my draft. To be sure.

What shall I call it. For now, something Medical.

Something wonderful!

I’ll go outside and disprove my thoughts on this. I’ll go against my feelings today. I’ll listen to the affirmation. I’ll do what it takes. To get the energy moving.

I love that there’s a “I give up” link to press on one’s various goals. I only want to press that when I decide to change my goal. And I haven’t changed this one. I’ll retype it:

I affirm a temp. administrative job that speaks strongly to and connects directly to my life of writing and producing and directing for film, television and theatre—fantastic, moving, heartfelt stories.

And, as I type this again, it occurs to me that the stories I have been viewing recently all are so produceable and have fantastic characters. And there’s a reason I am being exposed to them.

I just gave somebody some inspirational advice. And now I’ve got to give that to myself. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing.

The thing is, I don’t have to live up to all that pressure. I won’t. I’ll simply trudge on. I mean, not “trudge”, but “go”. Maybe initially it feels like trudge, but I’ll lighten that judgment. I commit to lightening that judgment, beginning now, with a first step.

I am an Artist. Last week I started The Artists’ Way. It is such a powerful book. There’s so much to do. Not in the overwhelming sense. But in the inspirational sense. There’s never not enough to create. The Creating is all there, right now, for me to do. In any form or quantity. It awaits. Patiently. Encouragingly.

It’s great to have a group to practice it with. Anyone reading this in New York City, contact me on the location on Monday nights. Already there’s almost 25 people in the Circle. It’s powerful.

Speaking of Circles, it’s almost Imbolc. Seeds! Plant! Now! Grow grow grow. xoxo. gallantpresent