I'm doing 36 things
I went to college today for the first time in about 3 weeks (im in art college). We have this thing every few months where we have to put all our stuff up so the tutors can tell us how where getting on… usually for this I dont sleep the night before so I feel kind of less aware of whats going on, it helps to not think about all my shitty work up for everybody to see… So im outside having a smoke when I hear people from my course discussing how shit my work is… SHIT was the main description they used then when I walked into the room I got the stare you know the one where you know there thinking – ‘shes a fucking a idiot’ … just going to the shop across the road takes like an hour of preparation because god for bid some one might see me and actually think something… but to hear these thoughts out load about something I worked on.. scary scary stuff! I had to go back in for feedback from the tutors but I couldn’t do it.. ahhhhh kill me …. I need to get over this fucking fear of people after spending an entire year locked in my bedroom… only emerging for a snack at night when everybody was in bed I thought fuck this I cant live like this anymore so I decided putting myself in situations where im around people would make it go away, if I just try to ignore it and get on with what I have to do but its not helping.. but neither is being locked in my bedroom.. im sick of living like this, its not living…. I wish people didn’t judge so much…..! rant rant rant…
gaspipe's Life List
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1. Let go of the past
1,954 people -
2. stand up for myself
1 cheer995 people -
3. keep my room tidy
230 people -
4. get somewhere in life
6 people -
5. Be socially accepted
1 person -
6. Volunteer
5,559 people -
7. stop embarrassing myself
2 people -
8. fall in love again
1 cheer1,969 people -
9. beat social anxiety
1 entry496 people -
10. be more interesting
198 people -
11. do drive by shootings with my water gun
6 people -
12. Read more books
11,839 people -
13. go to a music festival
234 people -
14. Have life experiences that make interesting stories
371 people -
15. go on a road trip with no predetermined destination
21,506 people -
16. leave Ireland
13 people -
17. learn to play the ukulele
456 people -
18. Stop checking myself in the mirror so often
1 person -
19. like myself
374 people -
20. get better grades
1,492 people -
21. learn to draw
2,401 people -
22. be hot
234 people -
23. get over social anxiety
50 people -
24. get through college
84 people -
25. Pass this year of my course
1 person -
26. travel the world
21,059 people -
27. learn to paint
1,296 people -
28. stop caring what people think of me
233 people -
29. not be lazy
76 people -
30. be more social
5,414 people -
31. be happy
24,870 people -
32. Stop sleeping my life away
13 people -
33. Stop spending my life in my room
1 person -
34. Get out more
927 people -
35. get up in the mornings
5 people -
36. gain some self-esteem
19 people
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