“Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open? Jalaladdin Rumi
Gives me so much to think about.
I am seriously making more of a mess. A project that should take a couple of days seems like it may take an eternity. I am punishing my children by making them work just as hard as I am to get things straight. I don’t feel bad about it though, they really just take things apart- and put them back in the wrong place, with missing pieces, with broken pieces… Ugh, It is exhausting. I feel like we do this way too often. My daughter is almost 12 and it seems her room should have been just dumped into a dumpster.
We aren’t slobs… I just don’t throw anything away. Where I used to be crazy on top of everything with them- there is a total lack because I think I assume too much they will do the right thing. They are young though- so maybe making them work hard through summer vacation for a couple of days will make them better for it.
Although I made my house look crazy today I feel a sense of accomplishment on some level. I threw away and recycled so many bags of crap!!!
I haven’t even started my garage yet. :(
It’s been a long while since I have been on. And of course I have gained, and lost- and gained, and lost. So I am once again within 10 pounds of my goal. It is a lit lower than previous because of the activities I have been doing. I am not so worried about weight or the scale for once I have actually been staying away. I have been measuring every other week and weighing myself maybe every 2 weeks. Which is not as hard as I thought it would be.
After reading my other entries I can see how much my life has changed, and food is always a factor. Not necessarily emotional eating but just things being out of control.
I think ultimately it is not even my weight that makes me unhappy- it’s just a contributor to the anxiety and frustration in other areas of my life!
I am at a pretty good place right now, so I am staying positive with that, and a better goal maybe than weight loss itself is self control. Something for me to think about.