Noticed something I sometimes do that is incredibly unclassy… talking and eating. Ew.
So when at parties and trying to make conversation, I will avoid the food no matter how hungry I am! Dropping cookie crumbs and being paranoid that the crackers are sticking to my teeth just isn’t gonna cut it.
I have met so many new people lately, I’m so proud of myself! And more than 75% of them were girls which is seriously amazing progress for me.
Can’t wait to make these people my friends :)
Tonight I met a truckload of new people and I not only did an awesome job keeping conversations going, I did an amazing job at keeping eye contact too!
I’m feelin’ so good about this!
Because this morning I woke up accidentally at 6 and right now I’m realizing how wonderful it is sitting here with my banana, my coffee, and my totally quiet and lovely house watching a sunrise.
Waaaay nicer to start my day like this rather than the routine mad rush to get ready for the day and off to where I’m going 5 minutes late.
but also kind of… sexist? Why doesn’t it ever ask you to involve your male counterpart in anything other than ‘date night?’ Just because I’m the woman living in the house doesn’t mean I have to run the cooking and cleaning by myself. But man, my house is a disaster sometimes, I need some kind of system.
I’m going to use the routines as a guideline and see if I can get him involved in it too. We’ll see how this goes.
Well, off to go shine my sink.
I gave a hearty yes to every invitation I received this summer, then noticed that I was extremely over-committed and had to back out of a lot of things. Which disappointed a lot of people. I’m lame like that.
I’m going to try this again but with a lot more careful planning!
I’ve drank (drunk? dranken?) 4 glasses so far! I really like the taste of water, I don’t know why I don’t drink it more often. A few of them have felt like a chore I must admit, I miss my green tea! But if I replace half of the tea I drink everyday with water, I will be so much healthier. Wooooooo!
My guidelines for this goal:
1. Friends who are girls.
2. Friends that are as fun and good to be around like my friends at home.
Being around people who don’t dislike you is waaaaay different from being around FRIENDS. I was reminded of that this weekend when I went back home for a few days and we had a girls night. I’m striving to have that here at school too.
I’m way overdue for some good girl friends where I live. Seriously.
School starts again in a few days so I won’t have the chance for a while. How lame that this trip has fallen through twice!
Maybe next summer.
I’m still only considering this.
The perks of the pill seem very attractive, but then there is still the whole weight gain and loss of bone density thing. And forcing your body to take in more hormones than natural every day? Just something a bit disconcerting about that.
Buuuut I’ve already put it off too long, I’ve got to schedule an appointment to talk to the doctor about it this week. Maybe she will help me figure out what I want to do. (Though I’m a little nervous that my intense fear of gaining weight will alarm her.)
They’re really starting to cause me some pain. I’ve got to at least set up an appointment to talk to someone about them.
I’ve never had a surgery and I’m a little nervous about anesthesia. I reaaallly don’t like the idea of someone else being in control of whether I’m asleep or awake and how asleep I would be. I don’t want to be out of control! And I don’t want anyone cutting my mouth open! And stitches! And getting stitches out! And pain killers!
Ahhhhh I’m freaking myself out. Time to stop thinking about it.
It’s helped that the computer is on a different floor than where I normally spend most my time! Having my notebook on the floor right next to me when I thought “Hmm I wonder what the cause for asperger’s is… maybe I should Wikipedia it” was just too much temptation to spend the next three hours looking doing nothing productive.
Also rescuetime barely discouraged me from spending less time on the computer, since I had to spend a billion hours a week tagging all the websites and applications. But the charts every Sunday were super fun to look at… like looking at myself looking at the internet. Fascinating.
I’ve been working on this for years, and I seem to have made no progress. I can go weeks without buying anything other than the necessities, and then have a bad day and find myself turning to retail therapy.
I do not have the money to keep this up, especially this summer!!
but I finally wore my bikini in pubic at the water park yesterday. The mirror said I looked fine but I felt like SUCH a chubby chubberson. I think next time I’d like a tan first.
It’s super easy when it’s with people I’ve met more than once. I haven’t met anyone new in the past few days… so I’ll say I’ve been doing well?
but then was faced with some people that I didn’t feel comfortable with and totally FAILED.
I just knew they were judging me… and I was sooooo awkward about it I had so much trouble with eye contact. Working on it!
Finally, the hardest day for me so far is wrapping up. I wasn’t so lucky with sleeping last night, I couldn’t sleep until around 4 am and then had to wake up a few hours after that.
I spent the day crampy, cranky, nauseous, and really, really tired.
I had zero energy to go for my bike ride or do my workout. The poor dog was so restless all day, but I seriously couldn’t take him past the yard without getting woosily. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have bursting amounts of energy to take him for a really good run and tire him out.
Like 43tanja said, just gotta take it one day at a time. The thought of three more days seems daunting, especially after one like today, so I’ll just think about the rest of tonight for right now.
Blehhh. I’m considering falling off the wagon after today, but I’ve already spent money on another bottle of syrup.
I started this cleanse at 102 pounds, and now I’m 93. I upped my syrup to more than what it should be, and even started sneaking it into my teas to slip in more calories. I’m just getting smaller and smaller. My legs don’t touch at the top now. I must be doing something wrong because I’m not feeling healthy anymore. Just skinny and weak.
Maybe it’s just the toxins. We’ll see how it goes.
