googoosgirl

yes it’s ages ago since i wrote anything but i’m still trying to overcome this now. I’m definitely doing better lately which is good. I have so many rough patches, but i think i may have it almost sorted. I’m letting myself have extra if i’m hungry and i’m not as restrictive. I still feel bad about things sometimes and i still worry but i’m glad i’m moving on.

people mainly…i find my mum annoying but i do love her obviously. then things that people do around me are annoying. I wish nothing bothered me. My sister steals my CDs and clothes and this annoys me because i can’t get them back because she doesn’t live at home anymore. I get riled up about it but i wish i could just let it go. I suppose i will just have to think the little things that get on my nerves don’t matter. I hate it when we have meals and people go on about how they want the tiniest slither of cake because ‘they shouldn’t’. i don’t let it affect me but i can’t bear to be around people for very long. Not everyone is annoying! I don’t mean that i have no tolerance for anything, but for certain things and certain people. My dad, for instance, doesn’t annoy me at all.

i was 16 and for some reason had this figure in my head. I got there…and carried on, and spent the next 3 years in a living hell of anorexia. then i recovered for a year, and then i was ill again for a year. now i’m seemingly ok in that i weigh healthy and i look ok. but my head is still extremely messed up and caught up in anorexia. i’ve decided i don’t want to focus on weight, i never weigh myself. and my life was dreadful when i was thinner, as far as i’m concerned 7.5 stones started it off. it was when i saw how light i had become that i was spurred on to lose more. so i would never ever want any one else to do this, i know how much pain will come because of a number that means absolutely nothing.