gossipgirlxoxo

I’ve been there 3 times… each time to watch a Shakespearean play.
It is such a timeless, beautiful place.
♥

My heart is so broken at this point. I don’t know what to do and I really need help with understanding the situation and figuring out what to do next. Things were great between me and him for a while. We were stable and happy. School ended and I found out the exchange program I applied for accepted me. So I was going to leave Ontario and go to Quebec for 5 weeks to learn French. He encouraged me to do it and told me it was the experience of a lifetime. We talked about what would happen when I came back because I said i was worried things would change while i was gone. He looked at me, smiled and said, “do you think just because you’re gone for 5 weeks, I’m gonna stop loving you?” And so i pushed that worry out of my head. While I was gone, we emailed constantly and talked on the phone 3-4 times a week. The entire time, he told me how much he missed me and wanted me to come home and loved me and was excited to see me. When I mentioned a three week extra program, he said I should go for it if i wanted to, but asked me to come home for a few days in between to see him before I did it cause he missed me so badly. The plans for the program fell through due to my parents and so i came home when expected. But I noticed for the last week that i was there, our phone calls were shorter and even though i emailed 2-3 times, he didn’t reply at all. I thought he was busy cause he started working again full-time. He gets up at 6:30 a.m. and comes home late too. When i came home, he didn’t call the first or second or third night. So i called him the fourth day but his parents said he was at work and that he’d be gone for the next 2 days cause they were going up to their cottage. So i cancelled the surprise dinner reservations I made. The day he was supposed to come back, he didn’t call or anything then either. So I called him a few nights later. And in a nutshell, I asked why he’d been avoiding me. and he said it probably wasn’t a good idea to date anymore cause he didn’t feel the same way about me. How could he just lose his feelings for me in two weeks? I did not cheat on him or even look at other guys. The entire time I was homesick and thrilled that I was gonna see him! And now I’m confused and heartbroken. I don’t know what I should do. I need an explanation from him about what happened because I feel like there’s more he may not be telling me. We’d been dating for ONE YEAR AND 3 MONTHS and liked each other for a YEAR even before that! He’s never lied to me so i don’t think he cheated on me. But what if he found someone else? Or he really is over me in just two weeks? I thought maybe it was cause I was gone for so long and we just needed to see each other again… but he said it’d just be awkward. I’m thinking I should wait a week and then call him. I’ll offer to drop off some stuff i got for him while i was in quebec and his shirts/sweatshirts. Then maybe we can talk for a while. I don’t know if it’s a good idea. and I just really need help with this situation. I want him back. I still love him.

in the process of finishing year 1 IB.
did my chem exam today and it was a lot better than i thought it would be.
i’ll find out the marks in a few weeks.
i know i passed.. now i’m wondering by how much :)
just another year to go!