gothelin

Well, with the gift of a dSLR this Christmas, I really don’t have an excuse. At any one point in my day I generally have at least 2 cameras on me – the 5MP one in my phone and the 10MP point & shoot camera in my handbag. Since I’m pretty much obsessed with my new camera, that goes most places also!

Since I got the camera I’ve taken photos on 12 consecutive days, and actually have a longer term goal of completing Project 365. It really doesn’t take much time to include at least one photo a day. Hopefully I’ll keep it up!

...because Walruses are totally trustworthy.

I’ve completed my goal of answering the phone. My new goal then is to become proactive. Its time for me to make space in my life to start calling, emailing, IM’ing and FB’ing my friends. No more laying back and waiting for adulation. I’m over it.

I miss spending time with my friends. And while I was 1000km away, it was perfectly okay for me to wallow in my misery. Now that I’m 0 – 100Km, its time for a hard slap and a wake up call.

So here it is. For the next month I will make it my business to actively call or otherwise contact (and by contact I do not just mean going “hey” every so often on an IM – I’m visualising more of a real conversation – by whatever means necessary) at least 2 of my friends each week. Its time to start rekindling old friendships. The reality is that the only reason they need rekindling is because I let the flame grow low. Its definitely my turn to get things going again.

I still like the turtle mentality. Although rationally, I know it just stresses me out even more to ignore calls I don’t want to deal with. I know if I don’t answer the call, I know there’s going to be a nasty message, so I don’t check the message. Bad cycle

On the other hand, if I do answer the call – yes, it might be an awful call. I might feel guilt and embarrassment or whatever. No matter how appalling the call might be though, at least if I take the call – its done with and the issue is resolved at the end! That’s been my experience over the last 10 months with answering the phone whenever it rings.

Unless its a private number (I feel a moral obligation to refuse those calls – why the hell would I answer a call if you are too embarrassed/ashamed/concerned I wouldn’t answer/etc to show your ID? Even telemarketers in this country are required by law to show their number, so if you can’t do that – I probably am not interested in what you have to say.), I have been very good at just taking the call. I speak to whoever I need to speak to, even if it isn’t 100% convenient and I get the bad stuff over and done with. Most of the time though, its been wonderful because I’ve actually been able to connect with people I do genuinely care about. Sometimes its been about bills and such and that’s all been fine too – much better than my prior avoidance technique.

What I need to do now is start reaching out and actually making calls. Its all very well to sit back and wait for people to contact you. A real friend actually reaches out and contacts others. And that is what my next thing is going to be – to loose the hermit shell and stop expecting people to come to me.