I'm doing 17 things
In school, on television, and even in our daily conversations, we celebrate the diversity of our selves. I like M&M’s; my friend likes Skittles. I like Star Wars; we both like LOTR. I like drama club; my BF likes football. We’re okay with this. For some reason, we’re discouraged from being okay with our bodies all being differently shaped from some unattainable ideal. Even the skeletal models on those reality shows complain about their knobby knees or the shape of their eyebrows. The style elite- perhaps especially the style elite- are neurotic about failing to meet that elusive ideal body. None of us have it. Let’s start there.
Why do we want it? Because a lot of money is to be made by convincing us something is wrong with ourselves. Your lashes aren’t long enough; buy mascara. You don’t have enough lashes; get a prescription for a lash-growing drug. You are fat; here’s an exercise program and a diet. You eat the wrong foods; purchase our pre-made program. Your lips lack definition… You get the idea. Just know when you’re being sold something. Don’t buy into the idea there’s something wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you.
Nothing is more attractive than self-confidence. By “self-confidence” I mean liking yourself. When you are happy with yourself, you are easier to be around. Love isn’t about looking like a 20-year-old model; any happy couple in their 70’s can prove that to you. You are worthy of being loved no matter how you look. Your treatment of yourself and others has more bearing on whether or not people want to be around you than how you dress. That’s a big “Duh!”, right?
Okay, that said, you should have the opportunity to like how you look and feel when you get dressed in the morning. Let me share the best of what I have learned since my horrific high school wardrobe malfunctions.
1. When something doesn’t fit you, the ITEM doesn’t fit YOU. It’s not the other way around. The shirt failed. The jeans failed. You are the most important element in the dressing room. It’s the job of the clothes to fit you, and if they don’t, nothing is wrong with you. Those clothes just don’t work for you. Don’t hire them; if they’re already in your closet, fire them.
2. Figure out your colors. I got “color keyed” as some sort of girly tupperware party thing in high school, but I still have that little book of fabric swatches more than twenty years later. Turns out that they were onto something with that. People fall into categories labeled by season, which are either warm (yellow undertones) or cool colors (blue undertones). I’m an “autumn”, which means when I wear warm, earthy tones, I wear the clothes instead of the clothes wearing me. No one has neon in their palette. That is something to remember when one is shopping at Wet Seal (which I don’t because I’m over 21).
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_analysis)
3. Different styles look good on different body types. Find out what looks good on you. Several different classification systems are out there for body types. Some people are apple shaped, some pear. Some are triangle and others hour glass. One of my favorite websites for shopping is MyShape.com. Grab a tape measure, fill out their form on your measurements, and see what body type you are. They’ll give you some guidelines on what looks good on your body. Now, they want to sell you clothes, but you don’t have to buy them; actually, I’d discourage you from buying from them until you stop growing. They sell investment-level clothing. If you buy something from them, you want to be able to wear it for the next ten years. Which brings me to my next point…
4. Trends are really about retail offerings, not about what you’re going to look good in this year. Once you know what you look good in, you can basically wear the same uniforms all the time. The designers know this. You’ll see them in the same outfit all the time, just in different colors or with different accessories. Jackie O wore shift dresses all the time, as did Audrey Hepburn. Katherine Hepburn wore slacks and a tailored shirt all the time. Betty Boop is still rockin’ the flapper dress and it’s still cool on her. When you know what looks good on you, it’s easier to know what to look for in the store. Trends aren’t about what’s okay to wear; trends are about what the stores will be stocking this year. One of my friends looks fantastic in tunics; she just spent nearly $1000 on clothes because lots of tunics are available this year and probably fewer will be available in the future. This is her year to invest in tunics because this is the year that the stores have them. What will she do in the future? Hey, she owns a sewing machine. The other option is to shop the second hand stores. People who bought tunics because Elle and Glamour said they’re in style and then realized they looked horrible in them will give them up.
5. Your style is your personality coming through your clothes. We all know that we make assumptions about people based on how they dress. The guy with the skinny jeans, the studded belt, the Vans, and the band t-shirt gets my vote for “guy most likely to own a copy of Guitar Hero”. The girl in the jersey and sweats with the crimson and gray ribbons on her pony tails and the cleats is probably an athlete on a school team. We tell people about ourselves in part by how we dress. My friend, mentioned in the last paragraph, loves 60’s style Mod clothing- gogo boots, shift dresses, geometric prints, big plastic bangles, black and white graphics, the whole schtick. I love 70’s clothes- paisley, brown leathers, embroidery, handmade stuff, etc. We have very different styles, but we know what we like. That makes shopping much, much easier. My favorite resource for establishing one’s own style is the Lucky Magazine Guide to Mastering Any Style
(http://www.amazon.com/Lucky-Guide-Mastering-Any-Style/dp/1592404022/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252041471&sr=8-1)
This book covers a number of pretty common American looks. Many people are drawn to more than one. My friend is sort of Mod/Gamine. I’m sort of Boho/California Casual. The book provides a lists of “wardrobe essentials” for each style, so it’s actually a pretty good resource for establishing a shopping list of items likely to go together when you get home. It sucks when you go shopping, buy a bunch of stuff, and then look in the closet on the first day of school and say, “I have nothing to wear because none of these things goes together to make an outfit.” Which brings us to my last piece of unsolicited advice…
6. A good rule of thumb I heard is only buy an item of clothing if you can wear it with at least three other items in your wardrobe. What’s in your wardrobe? Well, I am a geek, so I have my entire wardrobe on my iPod. Yes, I do. I have an application called “Touch Closet” (http://www.touchcloset.com) that lets me inventory my clothes, track when I wear them, and put together outfits when I’m bored and waiting in the doctor’s office or the line at the post office or in English class. Wait. I am never bored in English. That might be you though. It’s a nifty program, and there are others like it. One of the strange phenomena of shopping is the repeat purchase. I was buying brown clogs twice a year because I love brown clogs. Once I started paying attention to my inventory, I realized this trend. I stopped buying brown clogs and only kept a couple pair I really love and wear all the time. Things I don’t wear go to Good Will so someone who actually looks good in them can have a chance to wear them; that’s eco-conscious recycling. Things I need go on my wishlist so I know what to look for when I’m shopping. I spend a lot less on clothes now, and I enjoy shopping and getting dressed in the morning a lot more.
