it feels like at least day 21, this has been the longest two weeks ever. i need to quit my job as well as smoking.
i was really whiny for a cig last night after tasting 9 different wines, but lunchbox wouldn’t let me buy a pack. he is a good person.
also, i have to keep reminding myself that i felt crazy even when i was smoking. in fact, smoking made me feel additionally paranoid about getting cancer or emphysema. so there is no reason to light up when i feel crazy now. even if nicotine is a good mood stabilizer (that’s what the psychiatrist said years ago & also the only words of hers that really sunk in for me).
saturday & sunday & tuesday i’ll be w/the band, which includes:
- 1 american-spirits-(BLECH)-chain smoker
- 1 in-denial-ex-smoker-cig-bummer
- 1 girlfriend-guilt-induced-90%-ex-smoker
- (maybe) 1 normal-parliament-lights-smoker
- + me (serial-quitter)
maybe i’ll bring some lemons to suck on or something.
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the vinegar conditioner & a final cold water rinse seem to help. i don’t like the vinegar smell tho & the cold water is not fun either. i’ve been using coconut oil also, which smells nice.
i feel like i’m getting close to figuring out what works for my hair! i can’t believe how many gels and pomades and waxes etcetc i’ve tried & dumped on my hair. jeez. my haircare routine was never this extreme but only b/c my hair never looked very good when i tried those methods, not even when it was done at a salon.
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i cut my hair too short last night. it looked awesome while i was cutting it tho.
tonight lunchbox & i are going out to a fancy-ish wine thing and then a hipster-ish free vodka thing. (i know, i know, we really should be staying at home & saving Princess Peach from the middle of the galaxy [where toadpostal still reaches, but not the luma ship!].) i will not obsess about everyone else’s hair vs my hair. or their shoes vs my shoes. or how much easier this would be if i were a boy.
i think overall i am getting better at this though.
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