gumboho

i REFUSE to be one of those college graduates who hang around their college trying to recapture some lost youth. job or no job, people, it’s time to move on. college is over. moooove, goo..last night, we went to blue hill and all those still left in the lou that were still here were there..and i wanted to burst out laughing that patheticness of it all and cry at my stupidity for ever thinking it was the right thing to stay here. i’m all up for fun and adventure and being young at heart…but hanging around your old college and going to freshmen events..c’mon. last night gave me more kick that i seriously need to get out of here asap.

i have a secret to admit..i’m still best friends with my ex-bf/first real love/boy who stomped and broke my heart more times than you can actually imagine. i told the whole story to someone and they were horrified and thought it was so ridiculous to the point that i had to actually have lived it. i know it’s stupid and everyone who’s had their heart broken must be gasping in horror. 4 years of being friends..and i don’t know what’s wrong with me. why the hell does every good girlfriend in my life eventually fall into his charms? even the girls i used to trust the most turned against me. it’s a long and complicated fucked up story. but deep down, i think i really am moving on ..despite what everyone and their mother says. i’ve liked a lot of boys since him and in truth, me and him are great as friends…i’m blabbering now.

but yeah, it still makes me want to vomit to think about him and girl #4, 9, 3, pick a number.

it’s not that i’m fat…i just hate all this pudge and flab…everyone around me seems to skinny. i never ever ever cared about this until i got to college. i grew up in new orleans! where fried food is the best thing and no one cares about weight and health..life is there to enjoy, food is there to savor..and i go to college and discover a world of people obsessed with working out and looking good. i still don’t care to a degree like others, but it still nags me sometimes when i see my gut and hate wearing a bathing suit. stupid health nuts. sigh.