hannfee




I'm doing 39 things
 

hannfee's Life List

  1. 1. play golf
    156 people
  2. 2. have better posture
    1 entry
    7,443 people
  3. 3. pass my A2 Levels
    1 person
  4. 4. be a good mentor
    8 people
  5. 5. get my provisional
    4 people
  6. 6. have a good 18th
    2 people
  7. 7. eat Ben and Jerrys
    1 person
  8. 8. learn Russian
    2,363 people
  9. 9. Take more pictures
    14,010 people
  10. 10. finish Crime and Punishment
    1 entry
    16 people
  11. 11. eat a Subway
    1 entry
    3 people
  12. 12. read all of dostoevsky's books
    26 people
  13. 13. Finish "The Tin Drum" by Günter Grass
    2 people
  14. 14. stop being paranoid
    213 people
  15. 15. be proactive
    152 people
  16. 16. pass Psychology
    2 people
  17. 17. pray every day
    381 people
  18. 18. go to Berlin again
    9 people
  19. 19. travel the world
    17,824 people
  20. 20. read Women Who Love Too Much
    1 person
  21. 21. Pass my A-levels
    51 people
  22. 22. meet friends
    69 people
  23. 23. recycle more
    1 cheer
    463 people
  24. 24. write in my journal every day
    228 people
  25. 25. learn about berthold brecht
    2 people
  26. 26. go to the cinema more often
    44 people
  27. 27. stop being ashamed of the way I am
    6 people
  28. 28. write down my dreams
    99 people
  29. 29. write a book
    24,981 people
  30. 30. be single
    1 cheer
    55 people
  31. 31. stop slating my ex
    1 cheer
    1 person
  32. 32. become a burlesque dancer
    1 cheer
    86 people
  33. 33. write erotic literature
    1 entry . 1 cheer
    40 people
  34. 34. Get a tattoo
    19,616 people
  35. 35. write more poetry
    1 cheer
    905 people
  36. 36. learn guitar
    1 cheer
    2,981 people
  37. 37. be happy :]
    1 cheer
    21,170 people
  38. 38. get over that whole 'my Dad is rubbish' thing because he's not - he's human
    1 cheer
    1 person
  39. 39. Read all of Anais Nin's diaries
    2 cheers
    6 people
Recent entries
get into Sheffield University
I got in! 17 months ago

Yeah-got my offer the week after my 18th-going to visit it again + see if it’ll be my first choice for German come Sept.



write erotic literature
thanks :] 17 months ago

thanks to the person who cheered me :]
that’s actually given me the motivation to finish my first ever piece,and maybe tweak it about a bit.



get over my ex (read all 4 entries…)
Right. 21 months ago

This is really the breaking point for me.
No more weak moments to contact him.
I have to do this.
It’s imperative
I’m in danger of spiralling down a path that I don’t want to.
I have to choose the straight and narrow this time.
I’ve walked down the wayward and swaying path of backstabbing + anger right now.
It’s gone on a month too long.
I need to put these irrational fears away in a metaphorical ’’box’’ once and for all.
If the relationship wasn’t working,then there was something missing.
My trust.
I need to use my intuition in the future to find that out + get out with my integrity.
Right now my pride is hurt.
And I’m attacking him,and he’s trying to do the same because maybe I’ve hurt his pride by dumping him.
He accused me of apparently saying other men were good in bed.
Yeah,sure,I liked some man from Eastenders for about a month,and he uses that to attack me?
I,for the record,can’t remember that I said other men were good in bed.
I felt like an inadequate wreck.
And he has a go at me for discounting the fact that I had a dream that I kissed and fucked my mate?
Tell me this then: he can’t have a dream about another girl that he likes,that he can kiss her,and then when I’m off the scene,he apparently tells her how he feels,and that’s okay?
Tell me I’m being a pisshead here,or that I’m actually right for not taking his whingeing 15 year old crap.
I have to break out of the vicious loop before I lose it all.
I’m getting rid of everything that reminds me of him.
I’m going to do this on my terms.
If I’m this ’’patronising bitch’’,who in reality is trying to help whoever (but actually needs help facing up to herself and goes about it in the wrong way (although this could be seen as being harsh on myself,or a wake up call)),then what am I doing wrong?
Do I need to help myself first? Yes,I do.
Okay.I’m getting the answers.
I just have to take little baby steps,or am I being too gentle on myself? Am I being laissez-faire about the whole thing? Should I take the harsh approach?
You can’t answer that for me.
I have to myself.



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