I'm doing 39 things
I got in!
21 months ago
Yeah-got my offer the week after my 18th-going to visit it again + see if it’ll be my first choice for German come Sept.
hannfee's Life List
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1. play golf
166 people -
2. meet friends
77 people -
3. recycle more
1 cheer464 people -
4. write in my journal every day
238 people -
5. learn about berthold brecht
2 people -
6. go to the cinema more often
48 people -
7. stop being ashamed of the way I am
6 people -
8. write down my dreams
99 people -
9. write a book
26,124 people -
10. be single
1 cheer55 people -
11. stop slating my ex
1 cheer1 person -
12. become a burlesque dancer
1 cheer86 people -
13. write erotic literature
1 entry . 1 cheer40 people -
14. Get a tattoo
20,304 people -
15. write more poetry
1 cheer912 people -
16. learn guitar
1 cheer3,068 people -
17. be happy :]
1 cheer21,900 people -
18. get over that whole 'my Dad is rubbish' thing because he's not - he's human
1 cheer1 person -
19. Pass my A-levels
53 people -
20. read Women Who Love Too Much
1 person -
21. travel the world
18,582 people -
22. have better posture
1 entry7,729 people -
23. pass my A2 Levels
1 person -
24. be a good mentor
8 people -
25. get my provisional
4 people -
26. have a good 18th
1 person -
27. eat Ben and Jerrys
1 person -
28. learn Russian
2,440 people -
29. Take more pictures
14,326 people -
30. finish Crime and Punishment
1 entry19 people -
31. eat a Subway
1 entry3 people -
32. read all of dostoevsky's books
26 people -
33. Finish "The Tin Drum" by Günter Grass
2 people -
34. stop being paranoid
225 people -
35. be proactive
158 people -
36. pass Psychology
2 people -
37. pray every day
390 people -
38. go to Berlin again
8 people -
39. Read all of Anais Nin's diaries
2 cheers6 people
Recent entries
thanks :]
21 months ago
thanks to the person who cheered me :]
that’s actually given me the motivation to finish my first ever piece,and maybe tweak it about a bit.
Right.
2 years ago
This is really the breaking point for me.
No more weak moments to contact him.
I have to do this.
It’s imperative
I’m in danger of spiralling down a path that I don’t want to.
I have to choose the straight and narrow this time.
I’ve walked down the wayward and swaying path of backstabbing + anger right now.
It’s gone on a month too long.
I need to put these irrational fears away in a metaphorical ’’box’’ once and for all.
If the relationship wasn’t working,then there was something missing.
My trust.
I need to use my intuition in the future to find that out + get out with my integrity.
Right now my pride is hurt.
And I’m attacking him,and he’s trying to do the same because maybe I’ve hurt his pride by dumping him.
He accused me of apparently saying other men were good in bed.
Yeah,sure,I liked some man from Eastenders for about a month,and he uses that to attack me?
I,for the record,can’t remember that I said other men were good in bed.
I felt like an inadequate wreck.
And he has a go at me for discounting the fact that I had a dream that I kissed and fucked my mate?
Tell me this then: he can’t have a dream about another girl that he likes,that he can kiss her,and then when I’m off the scene,he apparently tells her how he feels,and that’s okay?
Tell me I’m being a pisshead here,or that I’m actually right for not taking his whingeing 15 year old crap.
I have to break out of the vicious loop before I lose it all.
I’m getting rid of everything that reminds me of him.
I’m going to do this on my terms.
If I’m this ’’patronising bitch’’,who in reality is trying to help whoever (but actually needs help facing up to herself and goes about it in the wrong way (although this could be seen as being harsh on myself,or a wake up call)),then what am I doing wrong?
Do I need to help myself first? Yes,I do.
Okay.I’m getting the answers.
I just have to take little baby steps,or am I being too gentle on myself? Am I being laissez-faire about the whole thing? Should I take the harsh approach?
You can’t answer that for me.
I have to myself.
