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Stop blaming myself
i blame myself for everything that goes wrong

We tend to forgive others but ignore ourselves. For me at least it is that way. I blow my mistakes out of proportion. Its big ego in me. I need to work on this. Right now The only thing that comes to mind is: Nothing is really serious in negative sense, because ultimately everything is positive. So I can take a chill pill. Ha ha ha.

don't take things personally (read all 2 entries…)
practical application

Today someone labelled me as rigid. I felt some sadness and then I questioned it.

1 I am not rigid all the times. So he is wrong there. So I am happy for finding this

2 I am rigid at times, So he is honest there, I am happy because he sees same truth as me so we have no difference of opinions. He too may be rigid at times, So its universal disease. I am not the only one suffering from it.

3 I am very flexible at times. I found those moments of my life where I was flexible.

4 He too is very flexible at times. When I am rigid he is flexible. I am grateful for his company.

5 So in nutshell its not serious issue.

forget the past
this has been my biggest struggle of life

I had been obsessed with past and lived unhappy life for at least 15 years. But now I realise that It wasn’t that bad. I just blew it out of proportion. The reasons why it was not that bad.

1 someone said bad once, i multiplied and made it 100 times. So what happened was not bad, I chose to live in hell by taking it too seriously.

2 Life situations are neither good or bad, its how we think about it that makes it bad. I was so upset for family problems. It was not that bad. Because none of it could take my intrinic qualities. So my thinking that it was something terrible was real problem. For some other people the situations that I was in could be a big relief. For example I was better off than a prisnor, handicapped person, a begger, a criminal, a prostitue, etc. And eventually they also are not living miserable life. Everyone can be happy at times. But my mind made me feel as if I was living the worst possible for my life. My worry about future was just non-sense, because future turned out to be very promising. And no one’s future depends upon the past. God has just set up things that way. We think it will depend upon our present circumstances but its more dramatic than what we think.

3 I didn’t chose the past, neither I am choosing present, and so future also I cannot choose. Why not enjoy life instead of worrying. Because its “happening” to me, I am not “creating” my life situations. The only thing I am creating is my thoughts and I can choose to create positive thoughts. What a mercy God has bestowed upon me!!

4 There is nothing to forgive, because what I thought was not bad, I just chose negative thoughts and now I can choose positive ones. No situations have any chemicals in it. nobody’s words have any chemicals in it. We just think this is bad and get obsessed over our thinking. And we suffer from the chemicals that our thinking generates. Good news is that thinking can be changed.

5 My past was the biggest teacher. It remains all the time with me as teacher in the sense what not to do. Which is not to blame myself and others for anything, not to think that anything that is happening is bad, choose positive thoughts and give utmost importance to the constant and permanent things of life, viz my dear dear self, God, wisdom etc.

Enough for now, will come up with some more good reasons. The best part is that I recognised the pitfalls. So life is definitely kind.

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