I'm doing 11 things
Tonight I’ve been thinking about the relationships I have with our daughters. There are 4 of them. Two have another mother. Neither of them communicate with me unless there is a reason. My part in that is that I’ve not pushed anything, and in not pushing have also left with them the sense that perhaps I do not care as much as I do.
This is worthy of some attention. Slow and easy does it. Am planning a trip where we will visit them. Involving them in the planning process will hopefully be a step in the direction of more frequent communication.
One lived with us for the first half of this year. I had thought we had established more of a bond, but so far no response to texts or emails. I chalk this up to a sort of laziness on one hand, and what I feel to be a false loyalty to their birth mother on the other. To talk to me is to cheat on her. I know this is there, and guess I’ll have to wait it out.
There is a more painful thorn in my side. My daughter who will not talk to me. She periodically goes through phases of shutting me out, and then acts as if nothing ever happened. I know right now she is in deep pain, as her boyfriend broke up with her and did that very thing to her. So where’s the empathy? I keep reaching out, to no avail. I had some terrible thoughts last night. The nighttime thoughts that come and you wish they would go away, and know are pure bull.
The result is I reached out again, and told myself to be prepared for either full on rejection or simple silence. So far it’s silence.
As with the others, I’ll let her know when I’ll be in town, and hope for the best.
