We’re getting married in March, hopefully everything will fall into place until then.
Most of the things are done, but we still have to decide on the little details.
My mantra: Do what feels right, and stop trying to please people, becuase they will complain no matter what!
serenity now
Now that I’ve done my thesis, I have more time to read books. Yey!
For me, this motto consists of two parts. The first: LIVE! Which means, live my life to the full, use every moment for the best, and just being a fulfilled and happy person.
The second part: LET LIVE, which means – stop minding other people’s business, each person is entitled to his own life, if I don’t agree with it – it’s my problem! And I mean the people that are clse to me, those I love and care the most. Just trust them in choosing the best for them. I don’t know any better than them.
I think the two parts are closely connected. If one is busy living his own life, one doesn’t have the need to be preoccupied with the other’s life.
This is something I’m going to fail misurably in.
There is no chance in hell that I’ll become more social in the near future, with my nose stuck in loads of papers and books, and juggling between my job and research – who has the time (or energy) for friends?
But I’ll really try to stay connected to the human society as much as possible, I promise.
I’ve become really good at wasting time. If only there was a “time waster” profession – I would be a master!
only minor revisions, and it will be completely done.
At least I’m over the block that I had for so long.
Three (or four) more chapters to go, and I’m done. 25% is something, right?
Hectic times… In the middle of the chaos, I’m taking time to appreciate the beautiful day that I see through my window, almost summer in February. A quiet weekend, with no plans – which is exactly what I need.
Well, I had a reason to be sceptic. My idea was not accepted. A new (and kinda unknown yet) direction has been taken. Hopefully, something will come my way eventually.
It got me moody, which of course didn’t help my progress today.
I want to overcome this block already!
Few days ago I wrote here a very frustrated entry about my lack of progress and good ideas. Then my browser crashed and the entry was gone. I guess it was a sign, because a few hours later I finally had a breakthrough.
Yet, there is a downside to this: I’m supposed to hand the 1st chapter to my advisor until the end of the month. my breakthrough will be worthwhile in the future, but in the very near one it will delay the finish of the 1st chapter. And my advisor will be very upset. She’s tough (with good intentions, though). I have to tell her tomorrow, and I’m SHAKING! What if she’ll say my “great idea” worth nothing? I can’t go back to the stuck situation I’ve been in.
I just needed to get it out of my system. Now I can go back to work…
maybe i already have a job that i love, and i’m not aware of it?
i’m teaching philosophy at the uni, which is very satisfying mentally but not financially. but i really like interacting with new students and see the light bulbs get lit above their heads as i speak. delivering some new knowledge to open minded people is great and i love it.
my other work is a very simple one – i’m a secretary (actually, a secretary’s assistant). you can do it while you’re brain-dead. not satisfying at all. but the people there are very nice to me, and the atmosphere is great, which is a very important factor. also, i don’t have to think much there, so i can save my intellectual energy to my studies.
in sum, i think i like my jobs. if i could actually get a decent paycheck it would be perfect!
Got a wake up call yesterday from my instructor.
THIS IS A REMINDER TO MYSELF:
TIME IS RUNNING OUT.
Today was a clear sunny day (although very cold). Also I went for a walk with my boyfriend and we got to breathe some (relatively) fresh air, had a nice talk and even got into shape all at the same time! Unbelievable!
And in about half an hour I’m going to watch a rerun of Law and Order in bed, which is a great ending for this day. :)
since I started this goal it got even worse: my netvibes page got too loaded with feeds, so i opened an account in bloglines. i also created a delicious account.
but—i also learn a lot from the internet, especially on art. i’m so far away from any art scene whatsoever, so art blogs provide me with the fix that i need, and also expand my knowledge (which contributes to my know more goal).
I’ve noticed that there are 2 kinds of goals here: The first one includes the little, personal, more practical goals. The second includes more universal goals, and mostly unreachable ones (make peace, save the world etc.).
There are also in-between goals, that are personal but hard to achieve.
So what should I do? Should I stick with the safe ones, like get a US visa? Or should I aspire also for world peace, unusual ideas and so on?
I’m confused.
For me, as an Israeli citizen, peace is not a wish, it is a necessity. Unforunately, not everything is so simple. I hope both sides will eventually accept one another and the erea will become peaceful again.
And to all the other countries which live in conflict – I hope you’ll resolve your problems soon, we are all humans after all.
Lately I’ve been in some awkward situations, like deaths in the family of close friends, and I just don’t know what to say. There is always this one person who comes and knows exactly what to say and I envy this ability. I would like to have the skill to make people’s time a little easier or just let them know that I’m really deeply sorry for them.
And this goal is valid also to happy situations, and all sorts. In short – any state that is not completely conventional.
I’m constantly yearning to go to other places, far and different. It’s kinda strange, becuase I’m a very homely person. There is no place like home (except from all these great places that await for me).
It would be interesting and exciting to live in a different culture and mentality. It seems both appealing and frightening at the same time. I’m pretty sure I’ll achieve this goal in the future, maybe even in the next couple of years. I’m dreaming about it for a long time, but the main thing I’m concerned about are the people I’ll leave behind.
