I'm doing 43 things
I can’t say that I’m scared to be in public or that I try whatever I can to get out of social areas. But in my mind it seems like everyday stressers seem to get to me in ways that shouldn’t bother me, and when I try to have a conversation with some people I just don’t feel myself… it seems hard to explain or hard to even want to explain but sometimes… when talking to someone.. I can just talk about anything, I can actually make people laugh.. and then I feel myself… sadly I don’t get this much. As stress from social or everyday events seem to consume me into a thought process that evokes only converstaions people will quickly pass over and make me feel in regret for bringing up random things.
My x called me this morning, (dated for three years) we still talk sometimes.. but her call woke me this morning… and I have to say I felt more alive in that conversation then I think i will then any other conversation today and I think that says something about the impact of stress affecting my ability to be social.
In highschool i decided this is something I wanted to get over before college so I went to the doc about it and tried paxal… while it helped i can’t say I felt completely myself as I when younger but it did help… I now have stop taking that and want to see if I can overcome this with out medication.
If anyone has any good books, ideas, sites, that may help I would appreciate it.
