hawksdomain

it’s more than procrastinating… Turns out I have ADD which is why I procrastinate. I’m very excited, I see a shrink Wednesday to get some meds to help me beat this! :)

but it still sucks – I’m now over 100 days without a cigarette and I still crave one each and every day. Now it’s just to the point of not wanting to spend the money or to fail myself after succeeding for so long… But, part of me wishes I still smoked.

Of course there was the dream that I had the other day where I paid $100 for a carton! Still didn’t even get to the part in the dream where I got to smoke any tho :P

and no nicotine….. damn this is harder than I thought it would be…...

but it goes on with or without you. Every day is an adventure. Life is just what you make of it.

OK too many cliches…. but hopefully you see my point! :)

Well, here I go… I’ve been on Chantix for a week and was supposed to stop yesterday, but ended up smoking one anyhow. Today is a new day…

I think this goes with “Stop living paycheck to paycheck”!!

we will ever get ahead. Between child support, rent going up every year but salaries aren’t, and now gas, both for the car and for hot water, I think I am eternally stuck.

I spoil my precious niece every chance I get. I see her several times a week and we have quality play time! We talk, we cry, and last week, we puked…LOL Well, at least I was able to hold it together!

It’s not easy, but I have accepted that he is gone. I still get very sad sometimes, but that is just part of life and things will never again be as they were.

and I have reconnected with 3 friends I truly missed. I don’t go to high school reunions because I don’t want to see 99% of those people and those years were not “happy” times for me. I am so very happy that I have found my old friends, tho! :)

something totally screws it up! My current situation has been screwed by my idiot boss! I better clean my history, so he doesn’t find this entry!!! LOL

change to a photo in Photoshop, but I still think its cool! :)

I will ever get past this. It has been six weeks now and I still can’t believe that he is gone. Sometimes I worry that the grief and depression I am dealing with will get the best of me, and that I might not ever recover. I don’t actually break down crying and squalling, but when I least expect it, the tears just run. I just don’t know what to do.

The only thing that has gotten me through the past six weeks (since my dad passed away), has been looking at the past, distant past. I have become obsessed with genealogy, but not just mine, my husband’s too!

I am not yet able to write about this goal, I can only say that I miss my dad more than I can express and that this is the worst thing I have ever experienced.

is now the battle is over…. and unfortunately the cancer won. My dad gave one hell of a fight though.

I’ve given you all of my cheers again today, and will likely do so again…. I was so glad to see you made it back so soon and I wish you much luck with all of your goals!! :D

it was because my husband is always telling me to let go of my anger. He claims no one can hold a grudge like I do. This goal has a new meaning for me now…. Please understand that I am very greatful that my dad is no longer suffering. I just am having a very difficult time accepting his death and being able to let go.

1) We are all individual people giving our cheers to Malc, it is not as if we are cheating….
2) This use it or lose it for cheers is just wrong. Maybe if it was like my cell phone minutes and we had a year before we lost, that would be understandable. This entire limit on cheers makes no sense to me anyhow. What if I read 10 different things that I just loved and wanted to praise and I only had 5 cheers available? Down with the Man/robot! LOL Sorry, started to get a bit carried away :D

I don’t feel so alone now :D although I did like feeling unique ;)