My sweetheart gives loyalty. She wants the best for me, for who I am, in every area of my life. Am I getting enough or what I deserve? Am I being who I need to be to deserve it? She asks these questions when I don’t. For example, when my family are overbearing she is there for me, BUT at the same time knows I have to fight my own battles (when I don’t want to). She speaks proudly of me when I deserve it & expects better of me SO THAT she can.
My sweetheart demands loyalty. She expects me to treat her with the respect I pay lip service to when I call myself a feminist. This strengthens our relationship 100x. She has taught me more about how to treat a woman well than either of my parents or any other mentor ever did.
I grew up with a healthnut mother so I thought I knew enough about eating well, while at the same time dismissing advice I considered nutty, and all the while allowing my low self-esteem to lead to poor eating and care of my body.
My sweetheart is healthy but not nutty. She is knowledgeable about health, cares about her own and by extension mine, and is always learning more. She talks to me in a language I understand, pointing out that not everything I thought was nutty is, and takes care and pains to get me really on board for my own good. This area is one of continuous improvement – only recently we discovered how deepset my relationship with eating is (I’m too guilty to eat enough). Thank you darling for your care.
I come from a small and fragmented family, and I have put up with their demands for years. My friends, of course, were where I felt more kinship and like myself. And my greatest friend felt like true family before we were even a couple. And now she has introduced me to her family, large and welcoming, with their own foibles of course, but mainly the size and how they interact makes me feel like family is a breathable space again.
I still struggle with my own family, all two of them, but I have perspective from watching the aunts, uncles and cousins that come bundled along with my sweetheart, and seeing how she gives to them, feels about them, talks to them and shares with me-and-only-me about them (something I am still learning to do with her).