heaveemetal

Look deep within
isolation, alienation, experience and maturation.
Difference is the constant.
Environment molds over time.
No conclusion can be reached
given the variables.
Always a mystery…

Of all the ways to deal with what
might bother me.
The buttons, challenges
bitterness
and events.
With all the trained
people that are available
to help
and interpret.
What fog may
intervene.
Rationality leaves.

that unfolded today
the receptionist at 12:02
today is getting so much worse.
The shipping person at
4.39 PM.
Have you heard the bad news today?
A /blank/ High school
kid killed himself today.
He had had dinner at
(the receptionists)
house last week.
FUCK!!!
I am so sorry
to have had this episode
to have known both people the subject matter is about
and to have entered it.
I know, trust me…

Drivers side.
The color is distressed maroon
23 years old.
class.

Same vehicle…

The decision has been made to donate my 1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee to a charity before the end of this year.
I’ll need a replacement.
Older? Who cares?
Modified? Fuck Yeah.
Capable? Of Course.

There is one replacement here in town.
Less miles on the unit.
Older.
Runs great.
I drove it Saturday night.

There is a better replacement 250 miles away.
Even older.
Modified.
Manual Transmission.
Tough and versatile.

Thursday we will go look at it.
I have cash in pocket.

This vehicle will go anywhere and there are tens of thousands of others to get parts from should the need arise.
I even know who has my sons wrecked 1991 Jeep Cherokee chassis, engine and 4 wheel gear.

Give away a newer vehicle and buy an older?
Sure.
If I can help, I should do something.

When my Mom had her own apartment
She and I had an element of control.
When Adult Protective Services became involved, she had no control and I had some.
The Assisted Living Facility that she had been living at was a 5 star facility.
But my Mom being the person that she was could not stop
bothering
hitting
going through others belongings
and threatening others.
Soon,
she will be a much more controlled facility.
Lockdown.
A psych facility.
Hey, I’ve always known.
I won’t even tell my youngest 2 brothers. They haven’t gone to see her,
so fuck them.
Being the oldest has privileges
and rights.
So overrated…

I’ll post this for you.
Of course, you might never know.
Remember how you told me what an abusive asshole he was?
How he lived to make those close to him feel small
and insignificant?
(Remember how my Mom was the same way)?
And then that first time I met him,
He told me privately how he was sure his daughter had told me what a BASTARD he was?
I told him,
I can make my own judgements
from my own observations.
Within 1 day I knew all you had told me was true.
He doesn’t talk to either of his daughters directly
and orders his wife around like a slave.
Ya, she has lung cancer too.
I knew what a fuck you were within 24 hours.
You watch your wife constantly so she can’t even talk to my partner on the phone?
We will dance on your grave you
MOTHER FUCKER…

From about 1968 until 78.
Minusing and plusing some days weeks and months
I succeeded, crashed and burned, survived
hid, interacted, communicated, withdrew
and came out the other side.
Age 12 to 22.
I am glad I made it.
I wouldn’t do it again for any amount of everything

And then watching the right meltdown
was ok too.

1. First of all, don’t include organized religions views in your platform.
2. Don’t be a white millionaire and act like it.
3. Don’t demean women by kissing religions ass
4. Don’t disrespect labor unions
5. Win your home state and your vice presidents home state. (LOL, what losers you were)
6. Go ahead and talk shit about American Auto Workers
7. Try not being the WORST choice in your parties PRIMARY election.
8. Don’t change your views completely in the debates.
We notice.
9. Don’t say you would eliminate FEMA.
10. Don’t be as tool of the REPUBLICAN party, the new minority party in USA.
Maybe the world.
LOL LOL LOL LOL
What a Gagantor miscalculation.
Will you learn?
Doubtful.
LOL

A few days away from the drama.
Colorado is a swing state so we have seen a lot of the candidates. Lucky us.
Around 10 years ago, I was for the right mostly.
But the right showed me that they cared about the rich much more than everyone else.
Huge tax cuts that started the deficits right away
Where are the ads that state the deficit was almost 5 trillion when the last president left office?
A bad economy?
real estate sales were way down 2 years before bush left office. There were 6 title guarantee companies on my area in 2005. All but one was gone by 2008. The year of the last presidential election.
I deliver stuff. I know when the economy is going bad.
Because I have less work. Pretty easy to notice.
Putting all this on one side is kind of blind.
It started way before.
The last 2 years there has been lots of obstructionism by one arm of the legislature.
Some party stated that job 1 was to make sure another parties president was a 1 term president.
Way to put your policies ahead of everyone in the nation.
When this country was founded, one of the basics was Freedom Of Religion, Or, to the thinking man, Freedom FROM religion.
Many of the original immigrants were persecuted for their beliefs. And you self righteous FUCKERS want to make a rape victim carry a pregnancy to term?
A political party that incorporates such backwards dogma will never get my vote.
I’m ashamed by your never ending march to the right.
And I would guess others are too…

Religion and sex are power plays
Manipulate the people for the money they pay
Selling skin, selling God
The numbers look the same on their credit cards
Politicians say no to drugs
While we pay for wars in South America
Fighting fire with empty words
While the banks get fat
And the poor stay poor
And the rich get rich
And the cops get paid
To look away
As the one percent rules America

Where one side agrees with the others foreign policy completely. Where one side has softened the stance.
Where one side has not mentioned how they would abolish or change FEMA so the states would fund it.
Like the states could afford that, what just happened.
The director of FEMA during the BUSH years when NEW Orleans was hit said the Presidents reaction was too fast.
Well, maybe for your party it was
One side wants to appear to be less warmongering.
To look moderate.
I remember what has been said for the last 2 years.
A lot of positions have been changed.
From one of the sides especially.
Good luck to all.
Those that don’t remember history may be doomed to repeat its mistakes…
That is what I do for entertainment.

A question was asked
by a dying man in search of relief
and some dignity.
He had courage, Oh so much.
The answer he received was given from the world as viewed from
just black
and
white.
But those that pay attention
Know that the world is a place
where almost everything is actually offered in shades of gray.
A mixture of those 2 drab colors.
NOTHING is either or.

I didn’t want to sell it yet.
And maybe not soon.
Score.
Income from a rental property…

They aren’t thrilled.

LOL, It’s up to me

My little world.
Starting with Mr. 86.
He is the biggest cat I have ever seen.
He must weigh 23lbs. or more.
All muscle.
He fills almost the whole clothes basket…

Extremely small
I should say.
The 2 party system is flawed
and indescribably so…
Is it going to be this extreme or that?
Or something in between?
Look, I can see the cliff…

1.5%, perfectly normal.
I informed my insurance agent so we could resubmit…

Having a PSA level of more than 7% if you are over 50 is extremely bad. Good thing it was only an infection.
Way too early to check out, You know?

and maybe not the right goal (lol)
My Chevy ‘61 4×4 has 2 gear shift knobs manual.
I bought 2 new knobs to go on them.
Behold the picture.
Transfer case that controls 2 wheel drive vs. 4 wheel.
Gets a pool ball 6.
The transmission that is a 4 speed gets a 9 pool ball.
What could it mean? ;)