i think we both agreed this time that it wasnt right. something was still missing. maybe we should just give it a little bit more time.. we’re still friends :)
at the same time, oscar want me, and now my friends ex want me too! And my stalker is getting pretty dan creepy… I was actually Scared today. Hmm, who else. I guess Morgan. He’s nice, but he’s more like, friend materlial. Then ofcourse Kauka, my exs friend, as well as my friends ex. It’s all a complicated mess. Maybe I should write a book about it..
At first i was sad when i found out my “ex” had a new girlfriend already, i was even more upset when i noticed she was the girl he hung out with Alot wduring the time he was with me. Then I realized he’s a real damn ass. And I feel sorry for his new girl, really, and if I’ll cry, I’ll cry for her. That spell, that control he still had over me is now gone.
I wanted to be the one who got a bf before he did, to rub something in his face and take some revenge for what he did, because I know I’m better than him. He IS a scumbag. But no, that’s not worth it. Even though revenge would be awesome I don’t wan to get a bf for that purpose. Instead I’m gonna take it slower and find a good person, not just the first that comes along. I deserve happiness.
And, I might have found someone. New fredde :p
Kind, super sweet, caring, relaxed, hot, hot, HOT, beautiful blue eyes, wonderful smile, gentleman, he sweetest thing really.
I was at his place for the weekend, two nights, and he was just the sweetest thing. He made me feel relaxed, and I’m never relaxed. But I felt I could be myself around him. We live realy close to one another as well. :) I’ve really been missing the warmth of another body close to me. I like him :3
It was almost as love at first sight. I had seen hime a few times before, but this time, i walked right up to him, looked right into his eyes and some crazy feeling said that this is The Guy, THE ONE. I’m gonna marry him!
I laughed away those thoughts but I still remember them. The spell cast at that moment only lasted for a few seconds, but now it’s rebuilding. I think I’m falling in love again.. Not just there yet, I’m still not over my heartbreak, but this guy!! I’m going to move slower this time, get to know him. Yeah :)
He’s under my skin :3
I wanna spread my wings and lift high into the skyyyyy
alright, exaggerations put aside, I’m really tired and I’m gonna go to bed now, gnight!
so, I was out. My friends had their fair share of guys for the evening and drunk as I was, sad as I was, I decided to find someone as well. Took me less than 10 seconds when I found Fredrik (not the same as old fredrik, a neew one ;O ). We’ve been to the same parties before, and we basically said hello, and of we weeeent… kissing and kissing hahaha what has become of me?
but it turned out alright, I didnt do anything too stupid, but I followed my impulses and well, it made me far less sad! In fact, I havn’t cried at all since saturday! yippi, that old guy is not really worth my tears.. fk him!
So new fredrik, and 5 other friends crashed at my place. Lets just say he was really cute and a gentleman :) As far as I can tell, he’s a good person. He’s got good eyes somehow, clearblue, energetic and full of adventure haha :3
he really does not..
atleast now i know.
but im really sad.
confessed how I still felt.. even though he might not want me.. i want him still. ALOT
fredde and i.. “broke up”
im sad :(
Now it’s not much left to go :)
I kind of enjoyed it, Matthias is a better kisser than Fredrik. I had been drinking and i sorta wanted to, yes. I didn’t see it coming, he just leaned in again and again and I just went with the flow, until I asked my friend to drag me away from him and she did after a while. Lets face it, I sort of have a crush on fredde. but he’s been kind of distanced these late weeks and we’re not a coupple or anything, so no harm done. I want to show him that I can get anyone I want I guess… It’s such a shame that Matthias is so good looking too..
Am I a rapper? Not at all, is this then a challenge? OH YES! Gotta love it :) It is not too serious, but I’m the only voice heard, the others from my team are doing a drama. I’m gonna go buy all the right clothes, let it out, embarass myself, make the crowd laugh and enjoy! I’m soo looking forward to this, and at the same time it’s a big challenge :)
62,4 kg, stabil I’m not gaining weight again, and that’s good :) 2,6 kg to go
I’m pretty relaxed right now.. this goal reminded me about my tinitus, but when I thought of it, I couldn’t hear it over the other sounds in my surroundings. I covered my ears and only heard a faint sound of tinnitus. This made me happy, it’s been soo long since I’ve had this quiet in my head ^^
I want to get to know him First, but we both seem to agree on that the flesh is slightly more entertaining… But I’m determined- I’ll try not to sleep with him until I know him. I can wait, if he can’t, well, then he’s just not the right guy.
Soooo after seeing each other for a few weeks, I guess we’ve got Something.. Let’s see where this leads to!
I gave myself a friendly push in the back, and I went on a second date with this guy.. sorta a long second-third date because we were together all weekend :) We had a good time with friends
Ahh I don’t feel no good…
I’ve been sick n in bed for the last 72 hours and havn’t eaten much at all, until today. I’m gonna go back to bed now, it’s really too much effort to sit by the computer…
Although kissing was not all that we did…
You might wonder why on earth an 18 year old girl is unkissed, well, I’ve been kind of shy.
And kissing is not a fairytale moment so I cant check-it on my to do list. I describe it as overrated, no vibes really.
I described it to him as “it could just as well have been a poke in the forehead.”
HAH CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT
but I was forgiven because the next day I woke up with a fever. And he was really cute and cared for me..
No workouts, just a bit of drinking and very little eating..
Probably the first time in my life that I went to the store a friday Without buying candy haha…
Got a migrain today… Great
. well well, I can only blame myself, since it’s caused by lack of sleep or food.