helenbiota

So I took the time to make an appointment and go down to the gym, and I’m probably going to join (I’m on a week trial — just to make sure I don’t have some misguided enthusiasm). The thing with me is that I need new spaces for different kinds of activity. I’m never going to do pushups at home or whatever. Winter’s coming up, I don’t want to get lethargic (like I do every winter), and the gym is three city blocks away. So, good investment.

I also like the way that my attention is already focussed on my body in a more positive way (as in, eating right). I seriously ate great food yesterday, and didn’t spend a dime eating out (not counting groceries). I’m trying not to peak my enthusisasm early, like a fad dieter, so I’m going to stay cautiously optimistic about how long this lasts.

At the gym I did an hour of cardio exercises, some core strength. It’s a big deal because it’s the only intentional exercise (ie. that didn’t come from whatever activities I have to do) since about 2005, when I was injured and it interfered so badly with university finals I swore I’d never do anything physically fun again. But I’m out of school now for a bit and going to really push different kinds of activity on myself that aren’t problem-solving projects (ie obsessive intellectual effort combined with patient shitwork).

I think gym is going to mesh nicely with the other goal: cooking at home. I’m discovering that it’s more efficient and quick to NOT eat out, if you know what to prepare for yourself.

Sat.

- B. is invited to a comic book store party and told to dress up… so she arrives in clothing for the symphony, while everyone around her looks like Wolverine or a Transformer or something. Ha ha ha ha ha.

- Helping J. move his house. We’re short people so I go down two blocks to the Bookfair, borrow 10 out-of-towners for an hour who aren’t tabling, and get most of his stuff moved. It was awesome! He and his pastor were soooo grateful.

- The 12-hour-physical activity of: working out in the morning, helping J. move his house, biking everywhere, dance party till midnight (I left early).

Sun.

- Last day of the bookfair. Unhappy about blowing a lot of money on books (whoops) and eating out (whoops) but basically, a perfect day of socializing. Three sep. dinners. I tend to think that when people are gone they’re gone. Must look up A. when I’m in T.

- Good advice from M. on the course-based masters: don’t do it. Too much room for error and then no one takes you for a Ph.D. He’s right, it’s seductive because of the “powering through” aspect, but you know already that you do not just hit the gas pedal and go at 200 km/h for a year without stopping.

- Also was ‘peopled out’ at points in the day. I decided that noticing when that happens is really important. I think I’m going to find some way to be nicer to my introversion. It isn’t the same as social awkwardness.

- Someone guessed my age at 10 years younger than I am. Cool!

Still need my journal back, B.!

Friday.

—In the morning, people outside the smoke shop, actually smoking.

—At night, crust metal chords.

—General friendliness all around today.

—Hearing promotion of our event (V. Law talk) discussed in favourable detail on the radio. :) Efforts have been worth it.

—Sad to hear that J. was in some serious drama but I’m offering my services at 2 tomorrow. It’s not every day that the press makes you a celebrity for launching a controversial legal challenge. I really like J. and was happy to meet such a courageous guy. We’ve only corresponded by email, I support him all the way, and getting to do a small favour for him is great.

—V. Law’s amazing, eye-opening talk about women’s prisons and prisoner resistance. Regardless of what you hear about cushy soft prison life from commentators who know nothing, it’s the f*ing 19th century in there. No gynecology in most states, no breast cancer testing, no HIV testing, and this: women in labour are shackled, making smooth delivery almost impossible/life threatening. Release conditions make recidivism far more likely, prisoners tend to be on the bottom rung of the socioeconomic ladder. Prison intersects with virtually every other social issue.

—Food at the V. Law talk. I was hungry and had no time in between appointments. I donated some cash to the volunteer cooks cash fund and helped wash dishes.

—Working up the courage to go check out a gym in the neighbourhood, getting a membership, working out in the morning. I haven’t really wanted exercise since the injury in 2005. Hoping I get more energy out of it. My trainer seems nice.

—Using the Mac’s microwave to heat leftovers since I don’t have my own. Score one again for not eating out.

—V. Law describing the situation of individual prisoners as “circumstances.” I used to think the word “circumstances” was euphemistic. But in the right context, that neutral-sounding word is liberating. This is a word I need to start using to describe the university “situation.” I need it to be fairer with myself and to be a less harshly judgmental over myself about what happened, and engage the academia situation more constructively.