I'm doing 1 thing
I am tired of trying to rationalize why I have the troubles in my life and not blame alcohol. When that has been the only constant in my life, through relationships, jobs and locations. I have had to face this through legal issues recently. But this was not the first time…hopefully the last. I could possibly be one drink away from prison, if I do not do this. That is a scary thought for a woman with a family that loves her, and friend’s that would do anything for her. Would I, could I do that to them? To me? Am I not worth the simple acceptance and act of getting sober and staying that way?
It is hard though, isn’t it? We want it to work but not work it. I have started AA and rehab. This was suggested by my attorney to hopefully give me leniency before my final court date. And that is exactly why I started these programs. But, now I see it was not that I was a person who had not learned to drink right and needed to keep practicing till I got it right. Nor a bad person that needs to get better. I am a sick person who needs to get well. I am an alcoholic. I have a disease, an allergy.
The only cure is abstinence. The only surety of keeping that is working for it.
So, that is where I am. A few classes into rehab, some assignment’s done. About 20 AA meetings, all the books, prayer/meditations and 2 sponsors.
I am real glad I came upon this site and so many others with this same goal in mind. I hope and pray we all achieve this for a lifetime. It may be our only chance of having one.
I will continue reading others stories…and thank you all for sharing.
Peace.
