I'm doing 43 things
Day One - 1/1/08
18 months ago
Today I am happy that I redid my 43 Things list ;o)
I am also happy for all the wonderful people I have in my life
And my two glorious cats
And that I’m finally starting on this list :o)
hlmcentyre's Life List
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1. live in Hawaii
285 people -
2. be more intimate with my sweetie
2 people -
3. improve my self-esteem
862 people -
4. finish law school
80 people -
5. finish my M.A.
36 people -
6. spend more time with my cats
1 cheer24 people -
7. spend more time with my friends
243 people -
8. get in shape and lose weight
18 people -
9. Be in a Movie
1,476 people -
10. swim in the ocean every day
4 people -
11. stay in love
474 people -
12. eat organic
206 people -
13. Live to be 100
290 people -
14. find at least one thing each day that makes me happy and record it everyday for a year
1 entry1,224 people -
15. levitate
358 people -
16. be independently wealthy
155 people -
17. write a book
24,927 people -
18. write something amazing
20 people -
19. meditate
2,551 people -
20. laugh hard daily
1 cheer2 people -
21. learn NIA
2 people -
22. Live Green
1 cheer131 people -
23. recycle more
464 people -
24. consume less
164 people -
25. be here now
95 people -
26. love more
459 people -
27. fear less
16 people -
28. give myself credit
5 people -
29. hug everyone
9 people -
30. get more sleep
4,091 people -
31. study
552 people -
32. write more poetry
906 people -
33. work for a legal aid society.
2 people -
34. live somewhere other than Ohio
3 people -
35. hike the appalachian trail
1,586 people -
36. learn a magic spell that will allow my cats live forever. Meeeeoooowwww!
1 cheer2 people -
37. Read all 7 Harry Potter books again.
3 people -
38. see the Daily Show live
201 people -
39. get up when my alarm clock goes off
1 entry221 people -
40. Increase the joy I bring to others and myself
1 person -
41. make a bucket list
21 people -
42. Reduce my ecological footprint
375 people -
43. make great change for the world
1 person
Recent entries
Untitled
18 months ago
I have sleep apnea, narcolepsy, hypothyroid, and some other conditions. I can – and often do – sleep through 3 alarm clocks, my mobile phone alarm, and even my home phone ringing right near me. I can also – and also do – get insomnia or poor sleep quality because I am so worried about over-sleeping and missing something important. I would find it miraculous to wake up ready to go every, most, or even a few mornings. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to have that much energy and get-up-and-go. I would love to be a morning-ish person and bounce out of bed ready to exercise and eat a healthy breakfast and get going for the day. I would love to have work I enjoy and high self-esteem and joy for the day and to embrace whatever each day brings. I would love to hear my alarms when they go off, instead of 20-30 minutes later, if at all. I would love to get up with a grin because I am happy to be alive and awake and starting my new day. I would love to have suggestions on how to bring these things into being in my world. Mahalo
I'm doing this
18 months ago
Having a loving, committed, monogamous relationship has not always been a key goal in my life. In fact, I’ve avoided one or more aspects of this set of goals for a lot of my adult life, due to various “issues” and other choices. But now I’m doing a new relationship in some new ways, and I like it, most of the time, when I’m not freaking out about it. It’s not my comfort zone to be content, or happy, or not in crisis. It’s not my comfort zone to think that I Am Enough for someone else, or not give in to the belief that Something Bad Is About To Happen So I Might As Well Cause It Myself & At Least Have Some Control Over It. It is becoming my comfort zone, however, to trust in someone based on their conduct and on my (eventual) response to them, to believe that it is okay to be where I am (not perfect) and yet involved with someone who is kind, open, honest, real, and not Out For Something. I know I had decent, loving people in my life before, but I was not ready or willing or able to trust them and to work with them on the work that any real relationship requires. Nor was I ready for those awful moments when I have to get gut-level real and vulnerable and let my ME spill out, all sloppy and messy and imperfect and hardly breathing. That’s getting better, but it’s still damned uncomforable and frightening. And who knows what is going to happen? I guess I had to accept that I had no control over what was coming in order to let it be what it is. I know this sounds vague and New Age-y, but right now it’s the language for where I live. Life is not perfect, nor am I, but I’m doing the best I can, as are most (if not all) of the people around me. And I am “allowed” to have happiness and joy and safety and to take the risks that I think are worth taking and to accept what happens as “good enough” and healing enough for me. I like myself more today than I have at times in the past, but some things in life have eroded my self-esteem, so I have to work on that, because it is very true that you cannot give love to another until you can give some to yourself. I get and give more trust and respect now than I did, or could, just a few years ago in my last significant relationship, and for that I am grateful (tho sometimes sad for things that didn’t happen earlier), and I am learning. But learning is real, and wisdom is learned, and wisdom can change over time, so I get used to not always being right (or wrong), not always knowing What Is Going To Happen, and I hope someday to learn that what is going to happen doesn’t always have to be perceived as negative, built up against, dreaded, avoided, come to eventually instead of straight-forwardly and with confidence. I’m not perfect, but by God I have earned some “stripes” or something and I’m glad to get to be in a place in my life where it’s okay for me to be in a decent relationship. I hope it stays this way, or gets better; but whatever happens, I will handle it, because that’s also what life is teaching me. That I am truly capable. Not perfect. But quite capable. Aloha
