hopeworkcourage

People like others who:
• are good at giving compliments without going overboard
• go around with a pleasant expression on their face
• laugh at people’s jokes
• show an interest in what people do
• are kind
• ask, not demand, to join in
• offer to help others with work or carry things
• invite people to do something
• hang around places where other students are
• are welcoming to new students
• are good at thinking of something interesting to do
• are willing to share
• are humorous and tell jokes
• are fair
• are good at organising games or activities

People do not like others who:
• being bossy
• being too intense or serious all the time
• bragging
• moaning all the time
• being a bully
• claiming credit for something you didn’t do
• telling others how to play
• telling others they are doing things wrong
• talking about yourself all the time
• being mean
• talking about others behind their backs
• being negative and sarcastic
• lying or cheating

Did not spend money well while I was visiting with j- bought snacks, books, lattes by the dozen. I was however quitting smoking.

However, now am back in Brooklyn:
—have been grocery shopping very cheaply
—quit smoking: hiphip
—am going through all of my stuff and looking for things to throw out, sell, and gift. Less crap to take care of means time and space better spent.

I have to remember that everything I do is either about getting to or being in the life I want or killing time in the life I have.

on march 26th exactly, I believe. It has been about two weeks and it is worth it.
I will not have to keep:

- hiding my habit from people I work with, people I meet.
- hiding in my room and smoking, pretending my non-smoking roommates don’t notice.
- having people ask me if I’m having a cigarette when we are talking on the phone becase they can hear me smoing. Remembering how much this grossed me out when i could hear my mom smoking over the phone.
- Do not have to do or be ay of the gross things that my mom is and does as a result of smoking: hacking cough, total dependancy, no energy
- smelling like cigarettes when I come back in the room after having one.
- knowing if I date someone who doesn’t smoke they can smell cigarettes in my hair and all over my clothes.
- having to always have cigarettes and a lighter and place to smoke.
- not wanting to go places that involve difficulty or embarrassment smoking
- spending about 5 dollars a day on cigarettes
- already getting wrinkly-er face then my non-smoking friends
- sallow colored skin – (other people notice a difference already even though I really haven’t)

Smoking is something that will only stand in the way of the life I want. I can already:
- meet new people without worrying if they smoke too
- have a lot more energy
- feel really free and unburdened
- feeling stronger
- breathing easier already

- I may have gained a couple of pounds, but nothing size changing or noticable to anyone else. Some irritbility and nicotine fits but it is managable. The first couple of days wasn’t so bad since I felt so high- like I was on speed or something – and i think, was acting like i was on drugs too. I’ve heard it is the high of extra oxygen to your brain and body.
I hard thing is that I still have cravings, and when i least expect them. They don’t last more than a couple of minutes but I can tell they are always tere lurking and waiting for me to be weak. It is not hard to resist at all but will be nearly irresistable if I am drunk and stressed out over a break-up. I will have to be really proactive abotu staying away from smokers for at least a year. I have quit before for 6 months or a year. It does get easier to quit everytime.

Man trouble and liquer combined with socializing are my downfall. I must stay away from this combination of things.