I had another 4 mile day today. I just need two more miles and I’ll have finished my goal. I have 2 more days…. I HAVE to finish this one… then new goal…. Two 10 mile weeks in a row…. gulp….
hornplayer06's Life List
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1. restore politeness, refinement, tact and other old-fashioned niceties
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2. Send a slinky down an up escalator
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3. create a secret society of optimists and do-gooders
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4. be in two places at once
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5. run a 10 mile week
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6. watch animal house
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8. Underpromise and Overdeliver
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9. See a movie in a drive-in
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10. get into a fight that involves breaking a bottle on a table and waving it menacingly in someone's face
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11. wake up when my alarm clock goes off
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12. change someone's life
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13. run a half marathon
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14. Win a better orchestra job
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15. risk more
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16. go to more baseball games
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17. find inspiration
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18. work because I like to, not because I have to
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19. I want to scream from the roof tops how wonderful life can be!
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20. get a priest a rabbi and a nun to walk into a bar
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21. Keep my problems to myself and stop laying everything on everyone else. Stop looking for pity and deal with my problems like an adult.
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So I finally just said, ‘Enough is enough,” and got to work. Today I ran 4 miles (according to the internet it was 3.879 miles (but that made Park Ave a straight line instead of all curvy) hence, the first day of the week is almost half way through this goal. Tomorrow I need to do the same run. The only problem is that it’s getting cold here in Rochester, NY, and it can be hard to breathe. I live next door to the Y. I should take advantage, I just like running outside soooooo much more….. hmmmm…. this is a predicament….
hmmmm… I guess I was trying to make things happen that I didn’t really want. I keep looking a him now and I don’t feel anything. I’m not mad. I’m not jealous, I’m not even sad. I just honestly don’t care. I’ve said “I don’t care” before, but usually as a way to not deal with things. This is different. I just really don’t care. I’ll be sad that I don’t have a best friend anymore, but we weren’t ever going to be able to really trust each other again anyway. I still play in wind quintet with him, and I’ll probably have a beer with him or something. We can hang out. I’m just not interested in being friends. Its not even a bastard-y thing either, which is weird. Its just me coming to a realization. I’ve moved on. Ran isn’t the same, and neither is Alyssa. I don’t need to be held back by them anymore. I wish them luck. I’m over her, and now I’m over him.
It doesn’t feel like giving up. it feels like moving on. i’ve got great friends and a good job. What more could I want? Plus, there isn’t any bad blood. He’ll never know that I don’t give a shit. I’m a great liar. I think we’re both ready to move on.
They can live happily in their own little world of two. It doesn’t bother me anymore!!
