hyperchick

I’m not quite ready to mark this as “done,” but I think I’m getting really close. I’m entering college now, and I think once I’m in my new environment, I’ll be done with this completely.

We broke up back in June 2006. It’s July 2008 now…and it’s hard to believe it’s been two years. I remember back when I thought to myself the remaining two years of high school would drag on forever. However…I’m here now, and I made it. The first six months after the breakup are hell. The year after the breakup is still painful. The second year after the breakup…I’ve got scars to show, but I’m doing well. God…I know everyone has different healing times, but I would hate to tell a girl with a broken heart that it takes over two years to heal. Despite that, I really want girls to know that as long as it takes, it’s possible to heal and once you’re here, all those lonely times don’t seem so bad anymore.

Although I risk being seen as someone bratty holding a grudge, I chose to break ties with him and his girlfriend. We share a group of friends, but they were never really there for me, so growing distant from them was very easy… They probably didn’t even notice my non-existance. Some people are able to be friends with their ex’s, but I suppose each person is different. I still hurt sometimes even after two years, and I haven’t spoken to him since the breakup. I can’t imagine what kind of mess I would be if I was still friends with him.

You know what I hate? I hate it when a song makes me think of him and breaks me down. I was listening to a song I had never heard before yesterday night, and it made me so nostalgic. It made me cry real hard. I know for sure I don’t love him…I don’t even know him anymore. All that’s left of him is the boy I fell in love with and stayed in love with for two years. I think deep down I really miss that boy, memories flood my head, and sometimes I have the question nagging in my head of “What if?” That always gets me crying really hard.

Besides these moments…I don’t hurt when I see him, or pictures of him. And as I go off to college, I don’t have to see him anymore. I’m ready for what the future holds in store.

I’ve said it before and now after prom, I will definitely stick to it: GO TO PROM.

Even if you’ve never gone to a dance, or don’t really want to get hyped up about it, just go. I guarantee you will have fun.

HOWEVER, there is one thing to keep in mind: the night is what YOU make of it. Don’t let anything get in the way of having fun. Any small little detail, don’t make a big deal out of it. Just acknowledge it, and move on. It’s how I got through my prom. There will always be things to get in the way….drama, clothing problems, etc. But if you don’t let it get to you and just let yourself enjoy the night, you WILL enjoy it.

Honestly, prom was not the amazing night I had pictured as a little girl. It’s not magical…but I had a really good time. I definitely am glad I went to prom and I wouldn’t miss it.

Still pushing to make Invisible Children United an official club on campus. My first application got rejected. Can you believe that? I was so upset. Apparently the club can’t have anything to do with raising money (isn’t that absurd?!), so I had to remove anything financial related. It got rejected because I forgot to take out the Treasurer position (which deals with money). Ugh. Hopefully I’ll get an APPROVAL this time.