3 photos

i_am_a_fake

is feeling lonely



I'm doing 21 things
  
Recent entries
be free from myself (read all 3 entries…)
thinking 1 month ago

when i thought i was free, i was only kidding myself. sometimes i only realise i’m not free, when i’m alone. you might think thats when you should be most free, but thats when i am most trapped. i am caged by myself. you would think i would treat myself kindly, maybe positive prisoner/guard relationship would occur. but i’m neither prisoner or guard, i’m just one symbiotic lump and nothing is going to separate.
so i suppose really this is silly.
i mean is there any point in a goal you know you can’t achieve??

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be loved (read all 2 entries…)
?? 1 month ago

is it selfish to want to be loved?
i have so many more things than other people and i am grateful, yet i stil want more…
do i want too much???

1 cheer | 2 comments

stop secretly hyperventilating all the time (read all 3 entries…)
changing my mind 1 month ago

ok so the last time i hyperventilated i actually wish someone was there despite all of what i said in my entry ages ago. it was scary. it was really really scary and i was home alone and no-one could help me. i just wish someone had been there to hold my hand and tell me it was gonna be ok and then hold me when i could breath again.

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I want to:

The world wants to...

find meaning lower my cholesterol levels Micdeagle wants to Learn Mandarin Chinese design my website Have a dinner party learn to speak Portuguese forgive Fix my teeth Bali draw better Meet Bert McCrackin Live on the beach live in toronto get corrective eye surgery or lasik frisky_femme wants to find at least one thing each day that makes me happy stop wasting time Read The Lord of The Rings backpack through Europe Watch season 4 of the l word Attend the Kentucky Derby Control my love of peanut butter travel learn to play the Hammond B3 organ Meet The Pink Spiders, again watch less tv KimOrch wants to find at least one thing each day that makes me happy and record it everyday for a year Write an autobiography Put the past behind me