iicia

Ahhh, I wish I weren’t so easily sidetracked by other concerns. I suppose this is the time for me to insert my many excuses for not getting my licence yet (incidentally I misspelled licence in my goal, could that be linked to my procrastination?), but whatever.

NCEA exams end tomorrow, so afterwards I’ll enjoy the glorious summer and start by settling down with the NZ Road Code. Yey? Yey!

Uhm. This is going to be tough. Really, really tough.

But here. It’s public. It’s out in the open. This is what I want, what I need.

I don’t want to be fat, overweight, unhealthy- whatever. I want to be healthy. To be able to run around for a loooong time and not lose my breath. To be able to look myself in the mirror and not flinch and feel disgust, instead to smile and love.

I want physical health and a healthy self-esteem.

Right. Let’s start tonight. Time to get off the laptop and stop staring at photos of my crush. Gosh. If I were a guy, that would be the body I’d strive for. swoons Pull out the exercise mat, iicia!

endlessly the skies fly past
the sobriety echoes through
and the chilling winds crush
the seedlings of hope

weeds, though, they are
and they emerge from the depths,
crushed though they remain,
trampled into the grime

but endlessly, endlessly
the seedlings will writhe
until the stem peeks into
the endless sky

and a leaf will wave to
the sun-kissed world,
and the endless suffering
will end

hope springs anew
then the endless struggle resumes