ikilledmusic

Starting Weight: 240
Goal Weight: 140
Current Weight: 152

Twelve pounds. Is it really that little? Am I really that little? It’s driving me insane a little, realizing how close I am to my goal, how long it’s taking me to reach that goal, and how even though I fall under the category of “healthy weight” now, I still feel like a fat kid.

Don’t misunderstand, I am insanely proud of what I’ve accomplished and I think I look really good, but I can still hear that nagging voice that I always expected to go away, that voice that says, “You’re still bigger than normal girls.” Then part of me wonders what I’ll look like at 140, and how I’ll feel when I get there. Chances are, I will cry and pull a Jared, showing off how big my 240 lb jeans are.

I suppose I don’t need to lose anymore once I’ve hit, I am, after all, 5’8”, I could stop now and my doctor wouldn’t complain. Really though, I only get to be relatively young once, and I’d like to spend the last few years of it feeling really awesome.

Thanks for letting me be a little emo. I’m gonna go eat more watermelon now. :)

Did anyone else notice that when they stopped eatin oreos, pints of ben and jerry’s and krispy kremes that fruit started tasting delicious? Oh my god, I ate a cup of grapes this morning and thought I had gone to sweets heaven. I’ve even been blending frozen fruit with my greek yogurt to make “ice cream” and it is freaking amazing! Plus, fruit’s full of goodies that you just can’t get from fruit juice, one hundred percent or not.

Let’s all go berry picking RIGHT NOW!

I’m positive none of you remember me. Regardless, here’s an update! I took up running last October and am now fifteen pounds from my ultimate goal and absolutely delighted to say that for the first time in my life I am in the bracket of “healthy” weight. I’m also really, really toned from all that running! My weight loss has been very slow, but consistant, and I love that I feel like I am eating like a healthy person and not just a dieter. Also, I don’t like to brag, but I’m pretty excited about how my jeans fit. Since it’s crunch time, I’ll probably update more. These last twenty were the hardest by far! Good luck everyone! You can do it!