intj

I am doing way better at this. I almost always have a big glass of water in the morning before my coffee. I drink flavored water throughout the day. I’m much more likely to drink flavored water (no or low cal) than regular, and I figure that’s just as good. I have noticed that my energy is more constant, and I have much less need for caffeine throughout the day.

Got it all done, at the last minute. Some folks that are very dear to me came through and came up with some notarized letters in time. Thank God.

I got all worried about going to bed with a lot of food in my stomach. The thing is, it wasn’t much more than a normally eat, but I think I’m getting sick so maybe that had something to do with feeling so full. I relapsed to alleviate some of the pressure. I’m frustrated with myself. How long do I think my body can keep up with this? Why can’t I treat my body with more respect? I’m just worried about going out of control. And tired of being so ‘muscular’ or whatever euphemism there is for the non-dainty like women. Everything about me seems supersized sometimes. I know I look mostly normal and relatively fit, but I can’t stand my body sometimes. The big butt, my big ‘man-hands’...why can’t I just have a more feminine body instead of this Amazon woman one I got assigned. Sure, being tall is nice, but having big ol’ muscular legs gets really old. Gosh I am frustrated with my body sometimes. Even when I was really skinny (5’9”, 113 lbs, during a difficult phase of my life), I still had these damnly solid musclebound legs. My calves were still as muscular as ever. And of course my hands were still big. So there are some parts of my body that I’m going to have to live with, but there are others (like my big butt) that I can change. Aargh though. I kind of went off on a tangent here, from lapsing to body issues but of course it is all related.